Changing Fate
by melWinter
Summary: Loki is supposed to be the portent for Ragnarok, too bad fate didn't ask for his opinion. Can a broken heart heal? Can the trickster learn to love? With Thanos rising, the universe may come to an end if Asgard can't reconcile with the prince it once rejected. Eventual Lokane, Loki's son, Hela, and the Avengers. Warning: random cuteness of Loki dealing with being a dad
1. Prologue

I started this before I even saw Thor 2 and decided to just roll with it anyway.

Prologue

Loki, the recognized God of Mischief, let the spell keeping him invisible and unnoticed fade. Now that his idiotic adopted brother, Thor, and his brother's sometimes love interest Jane Foster were off to save the universe it was safe enough. It was a shame really. Thor was a kind-hearted idiot. What a woman as intelligent as that saw in him was a mystery.

He took a step closer, staring coldly at a dead body with his angular face and ghostly complexion. He sneered down at his dead double and vanished him with a flick of his wrist. As if he would die for Thor. Dusting off his hands as if to rid himself of that pathetic display of sentiment, he glanced around to find the dark portal he was looking for when a cry caught his attention.

His hearing was sensitive compared to other AEsir but not that sensitive and he could see nothing in the barren vastness around him. A malicious smile curled his lip, envisioning a pair of dark elves tearing each other apart. He raised his hands when a second cry pulled at him, demanding his attention, and demolishing his concentration. With an annoyed snarl he spun, the tails of his armored jacket fanning out as he stalked across the rocks and windblown surface towards it. Whoever it was, if they weren't dead were going to die horribly at his own hands.

At the edge of a short cliff he spied with his grey-green eyes movement a short distance from the mouth of a cave and teleported himself from point to point, enjoying the freedom of finally being able to use his magic as he wished. He would make Odin and all of Asgard pay for imprisoning him. Stalking forward, pulling a dagger from an invisible sheathe on his thigh, he froze as he stared down at a small form. The tension melted out of him as he chuckled and shook his head. It was a tiny dark elven baby, not even a few days old.

He glanced around again, flinching back when the child started crying in earnest, no doubt cold since there was nothing covering the bare infant, "Well if your parents forget you someone is certain to hear you." Assuming this elf even had parents at this point. Assuming anyone even cared. There was an odd hitch to the babe's cries, as if the little one were sick. Not even he was so heartless and it's not like a small delay would hinder his plans. Sighing and slipping the dagger away, moving to lean against the rock face and crossing his arms over his chest, "Oh hush, I will stay a while until someone retrieves you."

It bothered him that the child was just left out here in the elements, especially considering the state of the dark elves' planet. Where was their remembrance of children to leave a child out here like this? As he looked the boy over he thought he knew why. The babe was obviously ill, an unusually unhealthy parlor of white for an elf and the ears were not formed properly, much more subtly pointed than they should be.

And Loki, as a Jötun runt, knew what happened to the weakest of the litter.

It would be a kindness to put the child out of its misery than to just leave it here to slowly die from exposure. He found himself kneeling down before he'd even thought it through, hand extending with a soft greenish glow of magic on his fingertips. A tiny fist wrapped around his index finger and his magic retreated so sharply it felt like a chastising slap to the back of his head.

His magic was supposed to be his to command alone. The only time he'd ever had that kind of reaction…

Pulling in a deep breath and shaking his head rapidly, he threw himself from the vicinity and almost ran in his haste to get away. He had plans. He had to see them through. He would not let his own pathetic sentiment stop him, not this time. But the distressed cries, escalating, pulled at his feet, slowing him down. He flinched and clutched at his head. Not enough sleep. Not in years. Or maybe it was his magic, spiting him. His overburdened conscience finally resurfacing. Whatever it was, he crumpled to the ground.

_And unbidden, a vision came to him. It couldn't have been a memory, he had been much too young and it was so long ago, but he envisioned Odin in this same moment. A warrior, a king, blood stains on his hands and armor, eye missing from battle, kneeling down over the frozen wasteland of Jötunheim to pick up a sickly runt of a Jötun babe from the snow. Him. The child of a hated race. A child abandoned and left to die by his own kind. Instead of leaving him to die Odin took the child home and gave him his name. Loki Odinson._

_ The image of the man he had called father and himself as an infant faded. He was still there on the barren expanse of chilled Jotunheim, but he was visited by someone else. He blinked and visibly started at what he was seeing. It was impossible. She was gone, in Valhala for certain but his eyes searched a face that wasn't, couldn't, be there. The specter that looked like his mother but couldn't be smiled with that chiding look he was far too familiar with._

Loki came back to himself, back curving as he bowed as if in prayer, shoulders shaking as he sank his hands into his dark hair. He had no idea why he shed tears, almost as if some gaping wound to his heart had felled him. Was it guilt? Remorse? Regret? He did not know, yet still he cried. He cried for the mother he still mourned, a mother not by blood but his 'mumma' nonetheless. He cried for the disappointment he was to his father, now a warmongerer and a blood covered tyrant. He cried for the traitor he was to his brother, a brother he denied and abandoned. And he cried for himself, for the Loki he had become that he hated with every fiber of his being.

He screamed once, a wounded sound and hit the ground futily with his fists before stilling. Even when his own tears ceased the child's cries continued to pull and speak to him more clearly than words ever had. Not even he, the Liesmith, the trickster Prince, not even he could abandon a child to die. Though he didn't know it at the time, this was the moment that he chose a different path. This was the moment that the fates hadn't foreseen. The moment when Loki would no longer be the portent for Ragnarok.

Roughly shoving himself away from the ground, swaying on his feet as he scrubbed at his face in irritation, he stalked back to the boy. With a series of movements the pieces of his armor fell off one by one, hastily pulling the green tunic he wore over his head before wrapping the child carefully. The little ones cries slowly tapered off, staring up at Loki in wonder with deep green eyes as the trickster snapped his fingers and the armor reappeared on his thin body.

He put a warming spell on the fabric, which helped cease the child's shivers. Hold tentative and gentle, Loki rose with the babe in his arms, supporting the fragile head and looking around carefully to be certain they were unseen. He couldn't return to Asgard. The moment his feet touched soil he would be magically bound and the child would be taken, most likely killed. Not that he cared, he hastily corrected himself. He only cared about the fact that he'd be back in the dungeons and that simply wouldn't do. In fact, there were few races he hadn't managed to offend at one time or another, but he knew that the forests of Alfheim's smallest moon were so extensive it would be easy for him to hide there, at least for a time. Loki had reached a fork in the road of his life, and he chose to go right instead of left.

Please review!


	2. Chapter 1

Thank you all for the reviews thus far. I try to balance humor and my fluffy fun with some good old fashioned angst...such is life.

Chapter 1

Out of all the nine realms, only three of them offered a practical solution for a home that someone like himself could use. Specifically Loki, since there were many pranks he'd pulled that even after centuries the people would still glare just from hearing his name. Midgard would be the easiest and the hardest to hide on, even with magic now that SHIELD probably wanted to hang him by his heels. Not to mention Thor and Odin would look there first if they knew he was alive. Jotunheim would be cold but possible for him, but not for a young elfling…not to mention he'd rather never see a Jotun again. Alfheim held promise since he rarely caused the elves mischief, but if he officially hid there they would be beholden to report him to Odin. The smallest moon of Alfheim, however, might just be perfect.

The baby was sleeping fitfully, having exhausted himself into an uneasy sleep from his incessant crying. Loki looked over the clearing thoughtfully. It would be a tight space for a cottage but that would be ideal. Tight enough to be relatively unseen but wide enough that a protective magic shell could fill the entire space. And it wasn't horribly far from a small village of light elves so what few items he couldn't produce easily with magic, they could supply.

With a snap of his fingers his grimoire flashed into existence and he looked through the pages carefully before focusing on creating a modest home for himself. His magic sung and swirled around him and he embraced it with a smile. Perhaps he didn't hate himself completely. If not for the past, he wouldn't have his freedom now and he certainly didn't regret that. When he was satisfied with the single story outside and protective spells he carefully scooped up the child and walked into the interior. Within an hour his work was satisfactory for now and a small basinet housed the child who was still sleeping.

Making a stew heavily laden with meat since he couldn't really abide much else, pulling supplies out of a dimensional pocket, he slapped his hands over his ears when angry wails shattered the quiet, "No doubt you would give Thor competition for who can destroy my eardrums the quickest." Loki muttered this, eating the stew and growling, "Oh shut up! By the Norns..."

The wails only increased in volume and intensity. Loki snapped his fingers and there was instant quiet. Smirking to himself, "Ah…I love mag-…" He jerked around in horror as the babe started screaming, a glow of blue light sparkling around him before slowly fading. His mouth hung open. No. Impossible. He had not just cursed himself with a miniature version of himself. His luck couldn't possibly be that bad. His mother had told him horror stories of himself as a very fussy infant, somehow doing random acts of magic to make sure his displeasure was known throughout Asgard.

Assuming a pose as if he were prepared to grovel with some unseen deity in the heavens, eyes looking up and hands pressed together in supplication, "I know I'm not one of your favorites right now…" Another scream shattered what remained of his ear drums. Damn…and with a defeated hanging of his head Loki stood up and picked up the elfling whose little face was red, fat tears rolling down his face. What had he gotten himself into this time? Scowling at the little face, "I saved your life, elf, it does not mean I am required to feel any affection for you." Mumbling to himself, "…because Odin certainly held none for me…"

Yet even as he said it he couldn't convince himself to completely believe it anymore. Odin had betrayed him, his entire existence a lie. He was a blue skinned monster, changeling or not, from a race of monsters. He was little more than a political ploy that had failed…but he still remembered falling sick as a very small boy and Odin spending half the night holding him and pacing. Why show that he cared if he didn't?

He frowned to himself suddenly in realization, "Milk." He winced to himself at his own idiocy, thankful it happened to be one of the few perishables he carried in dimensional storage. Shaking his head at the child, "I pity you for choosing me…" He was also thankful this wasn't a mortal child or the poor thing would probably be dead by now. A snap of his fingers and it appeared and he silently prayed this child was not as selective an eater as he was. He studied the babe for another second, vaguely remembering warm would be better than cold.

Yet even after feeding him he still wouldn't settle. Loki knew it had become a contest of wills, but which would break was the question? He held the little elf and started to pace with him back and forth. It seemed to soothe him a little, but he still cried and Loki felt his heart soften the tiniest bit. He reached up to feel the soft forehead with his fingertips, brow furrowing to feel unnatural warmth. He went about preparing a fever reducing broth and carefully fed it to the boy little by little.

His cries were softer, obviously pained, but the broth seemed to help. Throughout the night the little elfling continued to cry and no amount of pacing seemed to help. Loki was reduced to begging he was so tired, but it wasn't as painful as he thought it would be, to admit defeat to an infant, "Please, be quiet. Just…oh please, please, please stop..." He knew the child was sick, but there was only so much healing magic he knew. In desperation he sought out one of the elvin healers of the village. He abandoned his Asgardian armor for a simple tunic and breaches with a dark green cloak thrown over it, used just enough magic to alter his ears and ducked into the healing room with the squalling babe in his arms.

The healer, who he later learned was called G'dath, said not a word as she took the infant and placed him on a healing bed in a nest of pillows. As her assistants fussed over the boy she turned with narrowed eyes on him and pointed to a neighboring bed. Loki gaped and moved to object but her eyes just narrowed a bit further. He was tired, his head was starting to ache and his eyes were burning; if ever there was a time when her bullying him into compliance would work it was now and he found himself unwillingly bowing to her silent order.

A few more silent prods from her, completely ignoring his objections, she had him stretched out on the bed, divested of his cloak and tunic. He hissed softly as she applied a healing stone to an old injury he'd picked up a few centuries ago in his left shoulder but was surprised by how quickly it repaired the deep tissue damage he had assumed was permanent. He sneered at the potion she handed him but then he glanced at the elfling who had finally stopped crying. She obviously knew what she was doing and after considering his shoulder he drank it down. She gently pushed at his now healed shoulder and he curled up obediently on his side, ignoring her touches on his back as he watched the elfling waving his hands happily in the air, his eyes slowly closing.

* * *

Loki's eyes shot open, about to leap up but freezing to feel the babe tucked into his arms, he on his side and protectively curled around him, a soft blanket over both of them. He hadn't even realized he'd been as exhausted as he was, falling asleep beneath the ministrations of the healers. His shoulder was the best it had ever been and even the odd twinges along his back, courtesy of Thor, were blissfully absent.

The tiny baby's eyes were open, a startling emerald green and he found himself smiling just a little looking down at him. So much like him as a child. He remembered his mother always telling him how his eyes were this beautiful emerald green that had lightened to hazel with age. The baby's skin had warmed to a soft pale and Loki used an index finger to curiously trace along a white eyebrow before moving to gently touch a delicately pointed ear. The baby stuffed part of his fist into his own mouth and Loki smirked with a soft chuckle before realizing this child needed a name.

The name in itself was easy enough to decide on, it was to give him or not give him **his** name was the question. This boy could just a foundling of his, a little pet to teach and eventually send off into the universe when he was old enough. But it would be a poor way to repay what he now knew Odin had been trying to teach him. He may not agree with it, but he understood it. That every species is important and no innocent should suffer simply for being born to a hated race. Although the hypocrite would probably be very eager to see every last dark elf exterminated now.

His life had come full circle, he realized. He, in this moment, truly was Odin. He may not have taken a child from a conquered enemy but he was taking in a cast off just as he had been. And wasn't it interesting how not even for a moment did he consider not keeping this child. Would this boy's fate be his own? Would this child grow up to be as betrayed, embittered and angry as he was? As he looked at this innocent little face, his brow furrowed. No, this child would not be lied to. He would know his birthright. He would know where he came from, where Loki came from, Loki would not make the mistakes done to him.

Turning his right hand, palm up, he concentrated and a swirling mist of green filled the space. It swirled and moved, chaotic but gentle. This was him. A touch of the essence of him. He smirked down at the wide eyes watching him, a mist of blue tentatively reaching up towards him from the baby. The two colors swirled and danced around one another. A mixture of magic that would never separate. A connection of more than just claim, as solid as biology and love. Instinctively he knew he'd shared such a connection with Frigga, who would always be his mother in all the ways that mattered.

He would always be able to find this boy. He would always come forward to protect this child. Whispering softly, a silent promise, "Your name is Indel. Indel Lokison."


	3. Chapter 2

Thank you all for your reviews so far. As we fall deeper down the rabbit hole, I'll post warnings.

Chapter 2

Svartalfheim had once been beautiful. The roaring rivers and crystal lakes. Continents and more filled with the ancient forests of knowledge. The kingdom of the elves had been a thriving society…until evil had swayed a population that named themselves Dark Elves.

War across the World Tree banished the evil and scorched the skies of Svartalfheim forever. War had decimated the population to scattered remains. War had introduced imprisoned light elf bloodlines into dark elf lineage. Now the land grew barren and cold, the predators fiercer and the game scarcer. Some small clans remained on the planet in the sparse expanses of forest, or moved deep into the caverns beneath the planet's surface.

The Clan's hunters moved to the entrance to their cave, staring down with perplexed expressions. It was a good distance away from Malekith's fortress, and they were deep underground to avoid notice. Where was the child? It happened within each generation. Some strange mixture of light elf and dark elf would produce an aberration. A child with stunted ears. It was best for the Clan and the child this way. They were weak and never survived their first year, growing sickly and eventually dying. The Clan ate and the child was spared months of suffering.

"_I told you a predator would not wait until nightfall."_

One of the men gestured with a snarl, "_There is no blood and no scent of death, there was no predator."_

"I disagree."

The elves moved with fluid grace for all their speed, weapons and balls of protective power at the ready for this intruder. The figure didn't move, watching them silently. Skin as white as porcelain. Eyes as green as emeralds. Hair as black as midnight. A nonexistent wind blew the layers of the black cloak away from her body, revealing the Asgardian armor that had been died black from the blood of thousands. Along her hips, two inordinately long swords lay quietly, ready to be used. Ready to sing.

She watched them, no expression on her face.

"I am a very real predator."

"_Asgardian_."

"_You do not belong here._"

They converged on her and she disappeared like smoke, reappearing a few feet further. Such simplistic creatures, the dark elves couldn't even speak outside of their own language. Her smile was little more than bared teeth, "I do not belong anywhere, certainly not Asgard. I am here to ask a question, and it is thus: why?"

Heads tilted slightly, the Clan pausing to reassess this apparition, "_Why_?"

"Yes. Why? Why leave a child to die? Why show so little regard for your own kin? You have been doing this for centuries, why?"

A towering elf stepped away from the others, if not the leader then the most authoritative of them, "_It was not our kin._"

"Then to whom was the child kin?"

Eyes flickered towards the deserted fortress, "_It matters not, it would never survive, so we do what is necessary to keep those strong alive_."

"And you are strong?"

"_We are Clan. That is everything_."

Her own head tilted, "Father?" There was a moment of nothing. No sound that any could hear, before a delighted smile crossed her face that was so frightening they took a collective step back. Her gaze returned to them, expression gone, "I claim and I conquer and tonight…I exact a penalty."

"_A penalty_…"

The smile grew, becoming a trickster's smile, "The souls of the dead children that have washed upon Helheim's shores will be accounted for." She gestured with her right hand and the cave behind them sealed as if it had never been there. She let them keep their weapons, it would make their delightful struggles more interesting, "And as father requests, so shall I do." Heads jerked both ways, bodies tensed. Elves naturally acclimated to magic but they all sensed the overwhelming dark power in this otherworldly being.

"_Who are you?_"

Expression melting away behind a blank mask, eyes flashing green, "Death."

Metal sang through the air and the dry ground was bathed in blood.

The crunch of bone.

The gurgle of drowned screams.

Another coat of black collected and dripped from Asgardian armor.

On Alfheim's smallest moon, a very dark, very satisfied smile crossed Loki's sleeping face.

* * *

***Just to clarify since I don't want anyone confused.

The timeline hasn't changed. The girl is neither Loki nor Indel (Loki is like a thousand years old depending on if you borrow movie-verse math or not, he could have other kids). I'm borrowing a bit from norse mythology and it will make sense later. There are subtle clues as to who this is within the chapter and since I intend for her to reappear later I wanted to introduce her now.

Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 3

_Thanks for the Reviews. There's a bit of an explanation for the previous chapter in here, happy reading!_

* * *

Chapter 3

Loki loves and he hates dreams all at the same time. Unlike any other creature in the nine realms, a mage experiences dreams differently. Sometimes, it will be like the human version of television. There will be several scenes of the past enacting around him at all times. He can choose to interact with those scenes or not but he finds himself more exhausted than not on those nights.

Most nights, he feels himself wrapped in magic, a blanket of stars wrapping around him, safe and warm. He is cradled and rocked and drifts as he feels the harmony at the core of his being, a fleeting whisper of it here or there. It lightly tugs at his senses, not enough to wake him, just enough for him to know that it exists. He uses magic, but he is magic. It runs through his veins. It flows with his emotions.

Every once in a great while, it is an opportunity for Yggdrasil, the world tree, to reach out to him and teach him a new path. Envision that the entire known universe, all nine realms, were incorporated within a great tree. Nine specific planets make up certain aspects of that tree, but there are still the millions of golden branches and roots to connect those realms together. A million possible ways to walk from one world to the next, just by following that golden path. And the tree is always growing. Like a mischievous child, the tree changes and the tree likes to play with him. The tree is as alive as magic. As alive as a person. He is the only mage Yggdrasil invites to learn secrets like this.

And then on certain nights, like last night, the dream invites absolutely no rest at all. Where there is no dream at all. Where Loki could use his sleeping state to slip quietly beyond the living realm to speak with the Queen of Helheim. He knew it was a mistake to take this child. To give Indel his name. He'd already become attached. Attachment would lead swiftly to love, sentiment his biggest failing, but it was a selfish attachment. When someone hurt that which he loved, there was Hel to pay. Quite literally, since he knew a very special goddess of the underworld, after all. He'd been offered some lovely images of the dark elves that she'd slaughtered at his request.

Loki woke but forced himself to stay absolutely still, eyes closed, as he felt a gentle poke to his forehead. There were a few muffled giggles, before another gentle poke. He fanned his senses out a little, identifying Indel curled against his chest and the pair of annoyances next to his bed. He was mildly tempted to throw the brats poking him into a dimensional pocket for a few hours but a sharp clap had him opening his eyes.

The head healer he'd tried to tangle with and failed was sending the two children next to him a look of deadly anger and with frightened yelps they ran out the door. She was a classic looking elf, hair white and eyes a soft blue. She huffed a sigh and shrugged as if to say 'children, what can you do?' His immediate thought was beat them, but then he glanced down at the elfling and decided perhaps he was being a bit harsh.

She glanced at him with arms held out and raised an eyebrow until he reluctantly relinquished Indel to her. She checked him over thoroughly before pulling two thin books on baby basics and one slip of parchment. Loki wrestled the covers off and sat up, putting back on his clothes and boots. She handed him the parchment while putting the books in a small pouch before handing it and the baby back to him.

He glanced over the note. The healer was a very reasonable woman. All that she required from him were a few of the fresh herbs that he had discovered as he was building the cottage in exchange for her healing services. Loki offered her a slight tilt of his head in thanks, more than he was used to offering anyone. She seemed to take it all with stoic silence and Loki idly wondered if she was mute.

He took his time wandering around the village, getting a feel for the people here and mapping everything out. He was always very geographically aware and old habits die hard. There were maybe sixty people here, at most. How depressingly spartan and yet, perfect for a refugee like himself. There were the houses of course. The healing rooms. He mapped out a building that was used as a community gathering site. From what he gathered the people hunted for their own kills and grew their own vegetables. The only items up for trade were arranged between households so he was going to have to find milk quickly. His wandering had a dual purpose. Yes, he was taking in everything that was here, but he was also making sure that they all got a look at him so he would be left in peace.

He stopped at the home that was at the edge of town, pausing at the gate and unsure if it was rude to proceed without invitation. Well, better to ask for forgiveness than permission, his life's creed. He lightly pushed open the gate, keeping to the path up to the front door and knocked lightly on the light blue surface before stepping back several feet.

The door opened slowly, almost as if on its own. Loki frowned to himself but didn't venture further, "Is anyone there?"

An elf filled the space a moment later, soft auburn hair pulled back from her face, her smile sweet even if there was age and wisdom in her brown eyes, "She mentioned you might come by. Come in. Come in."

Loki opened his mouth to ask who 'she' was but for once in his life he was completely speechless, "Um…" He trailed off but allowed himself to be pulled inside.

She patted his forearm, her fingers lightly dancing on top of Indel's bald head who was looking around with bright eyes, "Such a handsome young man." Her fingers tapped Loki's cheek, "Both of you. Ah, here. Sit." There was just something so…Frigga about her he couldn't take offense. So he quietly sat in the chair, completely outside of his nature, and watched her. She smiled and moved into the kitchen, humming an elvish lullaby under her breath as she moved jars around and filled a basket. She came back with it in her arms, "Here you are." His eyebrows folded together, taking the basket in his confusion to sit it by his feet and she smiled at him, sitting across from him, "I have a few goats and no one has young ones right now. I do, however, have several repair needs and I hear that you might be able to offer your skills in trade."

Tone low, "Do I look like a carpenter?"

She blinked, nonplussed, "No you look like a mage, and any mage that can use their magic to build a house can fix a back door. Or am I mistaken and you have already developed a trade of requests with another family?"

Indel whimpered and Loki glanced down at him, swinging him slightly, "No, you are not mistaken." And because he was trying to not make an enemy in this town so soon did he say anything further, "I do not have the best manners when I am caught by surprise."

As good of an apology as she was going to receive and she took it in stride. Smiling again, "Then I apologize for being so forward. We are a very small community and gossip flows like air. G'dath visits me every morning, whether I agree to her presence or not." Loki grinned at that one, caught off guard, and she bowed her head slightly in greeting, "I'm Azni."

"P-…" He coughed into his hand, mentally scrambling at his own stupidity. As if there was more than one Prince Loki in the universe. Not to mention he wasn't really a prince anymore. He wasn't anyone anymore. Clearing his throat, "I am Lokhi." Slightly different pronunciation to throw off suspicion. No titles or ties to Asgard and it was amazing to him how utterly freeing that felt. But there was no denying the melancholy he felt as well. They had lied to him. They had abandoned him. He was right to be angry, but still the hurt was there.

He'd spent the morning talking with Azni, gleaming useful facts about the people here, as well as the seasons. He offered a few facts about himself in return, amidst a labrynth of half-truths and misdirection. Still, for all the falseness he'd offered, he could honestly say Azni was now closer to him than many of his so-called friends in Asgard and that was rather sad.

By the time he'd wandered back into the cottage it was midday and he was famished. Indel was too, if the whimpers were to be believed. So he made himself some stew and fixed some milk for his boy. He paused, mulling over that thought. His boy? He looked back down at those expectant green eyes and realized he was just fine with that thought. So he fed the both of them and curled on his bed so they could take a nap. And later when he was feeling more awake and braver he would grill G'dath on exactly what she had forced him to drink that would make him so drowsy.

* * *

Loki studied the empty bowl in thought. The very last of the stew and he'd exhausted all of his other perishables. He was going to have to start hunting or become a daily beggar at Azni's door and that would simply not do at all. He twirled one of his throwing knives before sighing. Good in a fight, not as practical for a kill larger than a man. He thought about the other weapons he had in dimensional storage, including the Casket of Winters, and a sheathed hunting knife appeared. This might do.

Whimpers pulled him from his thoughts, glancing at Indel who had a few tears in his eyes, little face scrunched up. He started to wonder why, then pulled a face as he realized the very evident reason. A few twitches of his fingers and the crisis was averted. Magic was a good short term solution for a number of problems and he gave thanks for having it. How did human mothers handle having to change diapers? And the clean up afterward? He shuddered, feeling slightly nauseas at the thought.

Indel giggled and thrashed about his arms and legs excitedly, Loki smirking in spite of himself as he picked the boy up. He crossed the entryway and opened the door, intent on stargazing and froze as a book tipped on its side. Brow furrowing, knowing that wasn't one of his own, he bent down and scooped it up, "And what surprise is this?"

Intrigued, he thumbed through the pages and figured out rather quickly it was a basic healing book. But the spells and potions were unlike any he'd ever heard of. They were less focused on the spell itself and more so on the ingredients. Was that why the elven healer had had so much more impact than the Asgardian healers' attempts?

Sitting down in a rocking chair, Indel tucked in the crook of his arm, he searched through the pages for healing stones. Different ingredients. Different spells. He didn't hear her but he somehow felt her and looked up to see the elven healer standing just on the outside of the porch. His eyes out of habit searched out for his warding spells before jumping to his feet and backing up with Indel clutched close. She shouldn't have been able to place the book at his door. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

She smiled a little before sweeping into his home. Blinking rapidly, "Wait! What-…" There was no answering sound and warily he moved to the doorway on silent feet, his magic now dancing on his finger tips and ready for anything. She was walking out of his sleeping chambers with a satisfied nod, scowling a second later at the pot with leftover stew. She wagged a finger at him and he shifted uncomfortably, as silent as she was. She continued her inspection, nodding at something, shaking her head at something else before turning to face him fully.

"I am aware of who you are, Prince Loki Odinson of Asgard."

Stiffening, "You have me mistaken for someone else."

"Your glamour is quite good, but those spells are slightly outdated and do not fool me." A mere lifting of a single finger and the guise on his ears fell, his Asgardian armor sliding back onto his body from dimensional storage. She worked two independent actions with a single gesture. On his best day, with the entirety of his spell knowledge, he couldn't have done that. He didn't insult her intelligence by trying to deny who he was further, "I am also aware of your origins, changeling, which is why the spells in that book seem different. They are better designed for your physiology."

He visibly jerked back before she could do anything to those spells that hid his true Jötun form. The body that disgusted him, "I-I will accept your word to that effect and trust that no demonstration is needed. What is it you require?"

She seemed about to say something, then seemed to change her mind, "I have had many assistants over the years, all of them extreme disappointments even if they are perceived as capable by healing standards. The book is a gift, regardless of your decision, but I would like you to consider becoming my apprentice."

Apprenticeships are offered to very young mages by masters in their field. Back straightening, glaring even if inside he was quivering, "I am not some mere child dabbling at magic, madam, I am a mage, and a master at that."

"Then the standards that tested you were inferior." His gray-green eyes flashed green, "You have the raw talent, without question, you are more powerful than I am. Your work is good, but it is not great nor is the finesse of it at my caliber or your wards would have repelled me." She raised a challenging eyebrow at him then and his ire subsided, recognizing her point, "As I said, the decision is yours, but I would be disappointed to see so much potential go to waste. And there is the child to consider." Loki looked down at Indel who giggled sleepily, "I have never heard of a Jötun nor an Asgardian take in a dark elf. Your power is well known, as is your reputation…but this boy's power will one day equal your own. If you do not have the foundation, how will you teach him?"

"Who are you?"

"I am G'dath."

Well that explained Azni's comment about G'dath showing up daily whether she was wanted or not, "Why me?"

Smiling slightly, "You are an adept warrior, Loki Odinson, but I think you might be better served with a foundation as a healer." A sly look, there and gone, "Not to mention if you return with Indel for something as basic as elven colic I will be forced to mock you." He scowled at her.

* * *

_Coming up: Tony Stark, Pepper, and Jane_


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Tony Stark had a reputation as a womanizer (man-whore), there was no denying it. But when you are perceived as the lady-friend of the God of Thunder, even he will brush off his manners and act like a gentleman. He wore his friendliest smirk as he twirled about the lab, Jane Foster keeping a professional smile on her face as she followed him, "And this…this is my pride and joy. Ten floors of dedicated research and development and this floor is at your complete disposal, fair maiden."

Jane was feeling a little overwhelmed actually. She'd been dropped off by Thor and whisked away by Tony's private jet on the same day. The universe was safe once more, the dark elves defeated and Malekith on the run, but Thor couldn't leave his grieving father and she'd told him she understood. And she did, a little. She just wasn't so sure Thor's reason for not returning to earth had anything to do with the deaths of his mother or his brother. She suspected it had more to do with Odin not approving of her. It hurt, but that she understood, at least logically. If Thor was to one day be king, she really couldn't see herself as a queen. And she may love the excitement of his presence and hearing the stories of his adventures but she wasn't so sure about ever truly falling in love with him. It didn't mean she was giving up hope that her own research couldn't continue to construct a Bi-frost between earth and Asgard.

It was why Tony Stark had scooped her up as soon as Thor had left for Asgard. He'd explained that even with all the holes and research suppression SHIELD had enforced on her work it was still impressive and he was eager to see what results she could produce with his backing. Stark Enterprises was no longer developing weapons but their focus was constantly expanding to new territories. Energy research. Projects to create crops to feed the masses in starving countries. A way to travel to distant realms, like her research to create a bridge, was just the sort of project they were interested in investing in.

She tucked a strand of caramel colored hair behind her ear and tried to walk with the least amount of awkwardness possible. Which only meant she'd tripped over invisible bumps twice instead of six times, "Thank you, Mr. Stark-…"

Tony whipped around, wagging a finger at her, "Nope that will never do. That was my father and I will **never** be my father. Tony. God of Sex. Your royal rightness…hmm, scratch that last one. Anyway, Tony. And I will call you Dr. Foster if you prefer."

Smiling a little more warmly, her brown eyes friendly, "Jane."

He took her hand and kissed the back of her knuckle, "Pleasure, Janie." Mentally she cringed, "Now that we're best buds, what's the deal with you and Thor?"

Jane felt like face palming. She refrained, barely, and pasted on a weak smile, "He had some business to take care of in Asgard."

Tony's eyebrows wiggled slightly, "I'll just bet he did."

She felt her face burn and damned her own idiotic idea for looking up any and all myths concerning Thor. If the stories were anything to go by, chaste he was not. It was mean, but she just couldn't stop herself, "He needed to tell his father his brother died."

Tony froze for a second in surprise, "Ah. Reindeer Games finally got himself killed, huh?"

Brown eyes flashing with just a tiny spark of anger that frankly surprised the inventor. Almost as if she were daring him to say something nasty about Loki…wasn't that interesting, "You could say that."

Passing on the opportunity to see just what kind of temper slept in this, at least he had thought, meek woman, "Well, anyway…" Making a sweeping gesture with his hand to the equipment as if she didn't tell him Thor went home to grieve, "Everything your heart desires is here. All your research is here, or already downloaded. JARVIS is at your disposal for anything you want. If you're missing anything, anything, just tell JARVIS or Pepper and they'll take care of it."

Frowning slightly. She would have had to have been in a coma for the last two years not to know who Virginia "Pepper" Potts was but the other name, "JARVIS?"

"Yes, madam?"

Jane's head jerked upward in surprise and Tony chuckled, "My AI. He runs everything automated and then some. Be careful, he understands sarcasm, don't you JARVIS?"

"I have endeavored to learn from your example, sir."

Jane blurted out a laugh and slapped a hand over her mouth, blushing. Tony smirked and jerked his head slightly towards the elevators, "R and D have their own floor, apartments, actually all your things are already in place…well, sort of-…"

Pepper, dressed professionally but beautifully in a pencil skirt, walked out of the elevator, giving Tony a very small smile before addressing Jane, "I trust Tony has been behaving himself."

Tony clutched at his heart, right where the glowing arc reactor keeping him alive was hidden under his suit, "You wound me, Pep."

Sighing, tucking her arm through Jane's and pulling her towards the elevator, "Ignore him." Her tone turned a little more firm, "Tony, go do something constructive. You have a board meeting in 45 minutes." A single eyebrow lifted, her expression the same but a firm glint in her eye that was just for him, "Do NOT make me come find you."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets and skulking away, "Fine."

Pressing the button, taking a card key from a pocket and handing it to Jane, "The floor is coded to your key only, as is your room. All of your things are in boxes." The elevator opened, "Ah, this way. There is a public kitchen just to the left, fully stocked, and a lounge. Down this hall we have several suites, these are yours." A beep and the door opened to a full apartment, "This is one of the few apartments with a separate kitchen, just in case you wanted privacy."

Jane's jaw dropped, "Wow-wait, why would I need two bedrooms-this is too much!"

Pepper smiled, "Three, actually. And nonsense. What if you have a guest? And don't you want a separate space for your own office. Not to mention this apartment has an impressive view, perfect for putting up your telescope. Trust me, if Tony hears you say less, he will give you more, best to just accept." Tapping a few keys on the computer already set up on a desk by the door, "I took the liberty of setting up an account for you and we've approved you for moving compensation. The details are in the file here."

Jane felt her head spin and wasn't completely sure if she was nauseous or had already fainted. Swallowing hard to get the lump in her throat back down, "Thank you?" Jane took a few tentative steps, looking around and feeling absolutely stunned. Turning and blurting out the first thing that popped into her head, "Is there anyone else on this floor?"

"Not yet. You may have new neighbors soon, one of the researchers the floor below yours, and one of your three assistants will be moving here from England so he'll be taking one of the apartments, the other two are local to New York." Nodding to herself, seeing that Jane was completely overwhelmed and speaking kindly, "Take the weekend to move in and get comfortable, no one will bother you and your assistants won't arrive until Monday. If you need anything, or me, just tell JARVIS."

Jane smiled weakly and nodded until Pepper closed the door behind her. Sitting down, she took a slow breath and chuckled as she exhaled. Her breath caught and she reached for the picture frame sitting on the table, finger moving lightly along the glass. Her parents, taken a few years before their accident. She missed them, still. It was an ache she would probably never be rid of but the ache was comforting. She wondered if they would be proud of her. She hoped so.

* * *

_Thank you all so much for your reviews, they are appreciated. Feed me more, please!_

_Next chapter focuses back on Loki trying to figure out how to raise a special child._


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

ALFHEIM

When the unexpected knock came to the door, Loki almost ran to greet G'dath. It wouldn't have been a very dignified walk in either case. The elf blinked in surprise, taking in the quiet panic before glancing down at the suspiciously quiet child in his arms. First time parents were always so quick to turn every small symptom into an epidemic but she knew for all of his newness to the role, he was not one to instantly panic. With a furrowed brow of concentration, she gently lifted his limp form into her arms and checked to find the baby's breathing even and his body warm. He simply would not wake up.

Looking Loki in the eye, "Try not to slit my throat." The question formed in his eyes before he gasped in shock to see her firmly pinch Indel's arm. The little body jolted in her arms and a screaming wail of anger filled the air. Fury burned in Loki's eyes, a growl in his throat as his body tensed to pounce, "LOKI ODINSON." That pulled him up short, even Indel stopped wailing but continued to whimper pitifully. She lifted a bottle from the ether, sharply twisted his right wrist and slapped it in his hand, "Feed him."

Loki's scowl was thunderous but since Indel was awake he snatched him back and obeyed, "You hurt him."

He backed up protectively, feeling something tense in him ease as Indel greedily drank. Tone exasperated, "First of all, I said I would mock you for elven colic, not if you couldn't wake the child." She was gracious enough to leave off the silent _idiot_ at the end.

His default scowl made an appearance, "How am I supposed to know that?"

She tilted her head slightly and just looked at him.

His scowl deepened, "I am not a mind reader, madam."

Rolling her eyes, "I believe I gave you a few books on the basics." Blinking in surprise, red started to creep up his neck as he closed his mouth and growled. G'dath gave him a patient sigh, "Have you ever seen a newly born child?" Loki snorted in reply and slowly she shook her head, "My, my…not the most articulate, are you?"

His eyes narrowed, "While I may currently harbor a deplorable lack of manners I have never been thusly accused of an inability to articulate a thought when it is required of me. More to the exact opposite. And unless you prefer that I verbalize my prose in such a manner, learn to embrace."

Her lips pulled upward in amusement although she fought it, "Pass." He rolled his eyes, "A child that does not cry is worrying so we will use techniques that demand a reaction. Causing a brief sensation of pain is one such method."

"Indel is not newly born-…"

She wasn't completely sure how much she should tell him. She could see it in his eyes, his body language betraying the love he already felt. No, he would live in daily fear if he thought there was a chance this boy could die, "But he is weakened, and I needed him awake so that he would eat."

"This is not just milk?"

Laying down her satchel, pulling out several books before pausing, "Are you actually going to read these this time?"

Flat tone, eyes flashing, "Yes."

"Wonderful, and no. It is a very special formula to make him stronger. His ears are actually a symptom of a greater problem. It is usually the result of a dual raced child, or a dark elf with light elf ancestry. I am sure you are aware that a light elf's diet largely consists of vegetation. Would it shock you to know dark elves are almost entirely meat eaters? Simple goat's milk is not enough for him. Not nearly enough for the nutrients he will need." She studied him for a moment, which had him frowning, "I might also suggest a few things for yourself."

"I am not an elf, madam."

Raising an eyebrow, "No. Really?" He glared and she smirked, "You have been existing on the diet that you found works for you while still maintaining Asgardian sensibility. I think you will find yourself quite content to eat your meat nearly raw." He curled his nose, "Think on it. After all, what fire actually burns on Jotunheim?" He blinked in surprise, but his gaze did turn thoughtful and the fact that he considered it was progress.

"So he will require this formula instead?"

"No, this is merely to help boost him." She picked up a book, "But I do have a few suggestions you might look over. There is a weekly supplement he should be given, the details are within." She looked through the pages thoughtfully before glancing back up at him, "This is actually the original, a copy of it was donated to Alfheim from Asgard."

His brow furrowed, "Why would that be significant, I am not the only one from Asgard educated to read?"

"It was given to us by your mother." Loki almost, almost thought about putting Indel down to greedily grasp the book. G'dath placed it carefully on the table, understanding in her eyes, "I think you will find her suggestions enlightening, I certainly did, even before I realized she was talking about you." Only once Indel had been fed and was sleeping soundly did she hand over the delicate letter within the pages, "She wrote this for you. No one has read it, as she requested." He took the parchment page reverently and G'dath nodded to him, "I will check on both of you in a few days."

She was almost to the door when he replied, not turning, "Thank you, G'dath."

Another sly smile, "My, how I am certain those words stung." He smirked at her absently, not even watching her leave.

As he read through the letter, his brow furrowed slightly to see her familiar hand writing, the light scent of something that was Frigga still on the pages. He laughed once, uncaring of happy tears falling from his eyes and by the end he hugged Indel tightly.

_My darling Loki,_

_ I find myself quite nostalgic today, standing on the balcony and watching you and your brother at the training yard, both of you too young now but so eager for when you will be old enough to learn to be brave warriors one day. As I stand here I feel the warm breeze that will one day sweep away innocence and it saddens me. But that you are alive to read this letter chases away such emotions._

_ I do not share my visions often, but I knew as soon as I held you that of all the different pathways you would follow, you would take one of two paths. I loved you the moment I saw you, but I also feared for you. If you read this now, then you have turned away from the path evil was trying to pull you to and I am very proud of you. I know that I am smiling down on you from Valhala and I cannot wait to see the man you will become._

_ So, the purpose of this book is simple, an account of the difficulties that I faced raising a very special boy. A very special, mischievous boy who is responsible for every one of my grey hairs. As you know, for all of our similarities, a Jotun babe is not quite the same as an Aesir babe, and it took quite a bit of trial and error to find what worked best for you. Now that you have your own special boy, you will see this for yourself but I think you will find that these suggestions will be helpful for raising him._

_ Be happy, my love. And know that my love for you was always complete._

_ Your mother_

_ Be certain to give Indel a hug for me._

* * *

_Thank you all for your reviews :)_

_NOTES:_

_Yes, it will definitely be Loki/Jane and I know exactly how to get Jane to her prince._

_Coming up - Loki learns about the consequences of his actions and some sweet Azni & Loki bonding_


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

ALFHEIM

Loki was absolutely positive at this point that his mother was getting even with him from Valhalla. He could remember vividly the embarrassing stories she would pull out in front of him and Thor of his being such a difficult baby to soothe. Indel would only sleep if he was tucked up against him at night. When given milk the babe would immediately become colicky, much as he had as an infant, unless it was mixed with sunflower. And now this. The ultimate insult to injury. Well, he didn't suppose it was too much of an insult and with a resigned sigh he dipped his fingers into a jar of honey, warmed them with a hint of his magic, and let the infant grab for a digit and gum them as he read.

All manner of teething toys and pacifiers were rejected with squalls of anger. There was just something about honey and Loki's fingers that satisfied. Scowling, "Do my royal fingers satisfy his highness?"

Indel giggled and kicked his feet and he sighed with a roll of his eyes, a small grin tugging at his lip. He didn't really mind in all honesty, something he would vehemently deny were anyone else present. He could just imagine Thor laughing him right out of Asgard and he felt his brow furrow. He hadn't checked up on him. Why had he forgotten to do that?

Did he care? That was an easily dismissed question. Of course he cared. He'd been lying to himself on Svartalfheim. There was a time when he would have died for Thor. He had slowly become this sullen, selfish creature but there was still a small part of himself that would forever be Thor's little brother. Did he feel more than that for his once-brother? That was the question, wasn't it? He knew he once did. He wasn't sure what he felt now.

He was angry and jealous of always being passed over, the golden boy always favored. He was resigned and sullen to never receiving his fair share of attention and he resented how he was chided for feelings that were valid. He hated how oblivious his br-Thor was to what went on around him. It irritated and infuriated him to no end and yet still Thor was perceived as more worthy to the throne than him. He didn't really want to rule, he just wanted it acknowledged that he was as worthy as the golden child.

Yes, he loved him. And he hated him. But there was still more love than not. Still, it was easier to deny a bond that could hurt him than to be made a fool when that hope shattered.

He tapped his fingers to his lips, book set aside. Did Thor succeed? Did his silly little human Jane survive? He knew that Midgard was in one piece, as was Asgard, but that was all he knew. He was effectively cut off from both worlds. He didn't dare leave, afraid to draw attention to himself from several different sources. Then a thought occurred to him and he pulled a length of mirror out of nothingness before he could second guess the decision, hanging it on the wall. Just an echo. He was easily dismissed when he tried this trick.

Thinking carefully, Indel still in his arms, he tapped the pane and glanced in. He didn't use any reflective surfaces near Odin, the All-Father much too magically sensitive. It reflected out to the hallway across from Thor's chambers. Loki felt an instant pang of longing at the familiar columns and stones.

Courtiers passed through the halls silently. A servant or two that he recognized, all of them tread carefully and quietly, as if they were showing their respects. His eyes widened in horror. No. Not after all he'd done to make sure his brother survived!

Reckless but suddenly needing to assure himself Thor was alive, he moved the image to the mirror in the sitting area of Thor's chambers. He breathed a short sigh of relief to see Thor sitting in an overstuffed chair, staring at the far wall. But his brow furrowed as he watched him. Was he ill? Thor was never one for sitting still. If he was in his chambers, he was entertaining a lady or sleeping.

He looked tired, which Loki would never have associated with the man. As if the life had been wrung right out of him. He had seen the older man spend days and weeks in battle and not look nearly as tired as he did now. Thor's hand moved to cover his face, lips parting to speak one word and a tear trailing down his face. Loki gasped and vanished the mirror, feeling a sharp pain near his heart that somehow he knew had nothing to do with physical pain and everything to do with regret.

Even he, the Liesmith, could not convince himself that his name hadn't been uttered in absolute grief.

* * *

Azni smiled as she opened her door, silently admitting father and son. Loki entered the room quietly, his expression worryingly blank, taking a seat when she gestured silently to do so. She went about making tea, the quiet almost comforting and soothing. There was a little swinging cradle and she pulled it around, coaxing Loki into swapping Indel for the tea cup and settling the sleeping baby inside.

She turned to see that he was staring at the cup as if it held the secrets to the universe, his grey-green eyes distant. Murmuring as she sat down next to him, "My, I have not seen such a troubled look in some time."

Loki looked up slowly. He didn't know why he was here. But then he saw Azni's concerned brown eyes and he knew why he was here. Someone who would just listen without judging him. Someone who would reassure him without making him feel like a helpless fool. Someone like his mother, "I…I made a miscalculation."

She nodded slowly, as if she already knew, "Then could you not simply erase the mistake and try again?" Loki jerkily shook his head, nibbling on the inside of his bottom lip, "Hmm…and I suppose you could not simply tell me this mistake?" He glanced at her once, his face once more blank but his eyes full of misery and her tone held no more judgment or recrimination than it did before, "No, then. What do you think you should do?"

Putting down the tea before clenching his fists, talking in short bursts although he'd probably shout if he could, "I do not know. Me. Of all people in the nine realms and I know not what to do. This is not mendable. It is broken and I cannot repair it." Voice hoarse, "…it shouldn't matter anymore…but it does…" He rubbed at his face with a shaking hand, his voice cracking, "How do you repair a broken heart? How-he will not forgive me for this."

Azni rubbed his back lightly, wondering if he even knew that his own heart was broken. She doubted it. She rubbed for long minutes, waiting until the shaking in his hands stopped and he was just sitting quietly, "Does he love you?" Brow furrowing in distress, mouth thinning, he jerkily nods just once. Smiling slightly, "Then he knows you need him to forgive you and he shall." He shakes his head, mouth opening to object and she leans in closer, wrapping her arm around him as if cuddling a child, "Now, you listen to an old woman. I know stubborn and I would be willing to bet my life that you and this other person are two of the most stubborn men in the nine realms."

Loki grins in spite of himself, "You have no idea."

Her smile grows, "I am certain once you trust me more I will have an idea." He gives her a surprised look, "I'm an old woman, I know when secrets are being kept from me. And that is fine, you have a right to them. Just know that you can trust me."

Muttering to himself, so cautious of trusting anyone. Trust meant vulnerability and betrayal…and he'd had quite his fill of both, "Perhaps…"

Squeezing, "Now, the point I was going to offer you. When there is love, there is always forgiveness. And if he loves you even a fraction of what you feel for him then you have nothing to worry about."

How could she know that he loved his brother? Brother?

His head hurt, constantly reminding himself that Thor wasn't his brother. Brow furrowed again, stress lines appearing, "That is what concerns me. What if love…stops?"

"It can start again."

"It breaks…"

"And then it heals." She pulled at him gently until he leaned against her, his head slowly resting on her shoulder. Loki closed his eyes. Just like Frigga. His mother always knew when he needed words, and when he needed quiet. Azni closed her own eyes, her cheek against the top of his head, this lost boy reminding her so much of her oldest son. They stayed that way for some time, the light outside dimming as the sun moved towards sunset. Whispering to him just as the sun disappeared, the words washing over both of them like a comforting blanket, "Love never stops. It blooms and burns. It grows. It changes. It sometimes becomes confused and clouded…but then the clouds part and it shines through once more."

* * *

_THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS! _

_Coming up..._

_Loki has a complete melt down and figures out what he really wants._


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

ALFHEIM

Loki muttered to himself, head bent as he poured over the books and ingredients before him, Indel giggling in the little swing made for his amusement. He'd haggled with G'dath with all of his skills of persuasion and felt like he'd barely escaped on even terms. Her offer to teach him had been too tempting to resist but resentment burned brightly in him to be termed an apprentice. She'd advised him to get over it.

She was a strict task master, there was no question, but she wasn't unreasonable. No idiotic quests for her amusement. No abusive use of his abilities for her own purposes. Yes, she had him working on the base potions for her healing room, but she explained firmly that until he could do the work in his sleep, he needed practice.

He also couldn't say he wasn't learning more in weeks than he had in centuries of work on his own. He actually felt like he'd been transported back in time, back to those innocent days when he'd been buried in his studies as a child while Thor thundered about the palace with Sif and his friends. They would come bursting into his rooms, tugging and pleading until he would put down his books and play with them.

Sighing, he rested his forehead between three fingers and didn't even resist the inexplicable longing he felt for a return of that time. Thor had been the annoying older brother that he had looked up to. He would play pranks on them to feel like an equal, or to get even for perceived and real slights. Horseback riding with his father and brother. Sitting contentedly by mother's feet and reading as she hummed soft lullabies to herself and worked at her loom. That Loki was long departed, his innocence shattered with anger and betrayal, his ability to ever go home again destroyed, but still the wish was there.

Sometimes he wished it had never happened. It wasn't like him to think about the possible twists and turns of his life but the longer he was here, alone, the more he was filled with old regrets. As miserable as he'd thought he'd been, it was worse to know the truth of what he was…and what he wasn't. Everyone would have been better off if he'd remained ignorant of his origins.

Or if he knew the truth, what if he'd never let go? What if Thanos never found him? What if he'd been seen as useless and killed? What if he'd succeeded in conquering Midgard? What if he'd requested sanctuary in exchange for offering the mortals everything? Loki blinked to himself suddenly. Where in Hel had that thought come from? Not once had he ever considered in trusting anyone with that much. Offering the truth and just hoping that there was compassion in the nine realms…he must truly be insane.

His eyes moved to innocent Indel who was blissfully nodding off in the swing. No cares. No worries. He stopped the swing and picked him up, tucking him in tightly to his body. He smoothed his fingers along the delicate skin, Indel wiggling with a little grunt. The green eyes opened sleepily, mouth opening and a tiny little 'mew' sound escaping. His finger moved to trace a white eyebrow and the eyes closed, tongue moving so he was lightly gumming the muscle. Moving his finger, a little hand grabbed for the digit and legs kicked again. Little brow furrowed, more angry grunts and Loki was quick to bring some honey to the rescue. Best pacifier in the universe, apparently, and only when he was sure Indel was out like a light did he transfer him to his bassinet. He took a step back. Then another, and slowly sat down, thinking.

He was providing a good home for the boy. A lot better than most homes, he liked to think. Loki's brow furrowed. But no little warriors to play with. No big brother to look up to, to bully him into doing new things. No mother to kiss away his tears…

He pushed himself away from the worktable and pressed at his eyes with the heels of his hands as his heart squeezed. He'd rejected her. It was the last memory he had of her, passing his hand through her shadow sprite so her and her tricks would leave him to his misery as a prisoner in the dungeons. And then she was dead, and he couldn't even go to her funeral rites. He never got to say goodbye…

He clenched his jaw. No, he was right to be angry. He was right to want revenge. He was the one wronged. He was the one…why was he cursed with such…SENTIMENT?

He was living on a moon at the edge of nowhere in exile because the alternative was prison and it was all his own doing. He was supposedly one of the most brilliant minds in all of Asgard. Why? Why was he so inexplicably stupid? Why couldn't he have contained him emotions instead of destroying everything he held dear? Why couldn't he have ignored his pride just once and asked his idiotic brother for help? Why couldn't he have yielded to his mother's pleas? Why? WHY?

Forcing himself to his feet, he walked forward and used the doorframe for support, pushing himself out of the cottage and stumbling to his knees in the clearing. He looked up at the unfamiliar sky, the constellations not in the same places he was used to as a child.

Looking up at the sky defiantly with clenched fists and teeth bared as if Odin could see him and hear, shouting and ignoring that his voice cracked with pain and loss, "I don't see what the fuss was about! I don't! You never reacted to Thor the way you abandoned me. Just because I'm a Jotun runt! Just because I'm not your blood? Why? Why did you take me if you didn't want me? Why was I never good enough? Weak. Worthless. Never the favored, always the ignored. Why is magic less worthy to you? Why isn't intellect worthy of the throne? Why am I cursed with this? Why can I not-…why can't…WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

He screamed and ripped at his hair, frustration with Asgard, his father, and himself ruling him. Green flame leapt to his left hand, unstable, and he hurled it at the nearest tree, grinning with sadistic glee as the flames leapt, the animals scattered, and the trees screamed.

He could imagine Midgard up in flames, screams and chaos filling the sky and the darkness within him swelled with excitement. He would find his revenge, killing those supposedly under Odin's and Asgard's protection. The All-Father, finally defeated by the foundling he'd thrown away, "FINE. You wish for worthy, I will show you worth. I will burn Asgard to the ground! Destroy the Bi-frost once and for all and kill all of you!" Voice deepened, more snarl than words, "I will be your greatest enemy ever created since I can be nothing else...and I will do so in exactly the way that you all fear. Not with might, but with cunning and deception." Sneering, "The coward's way. The trickster. MY WAY." His eyes deepened to emerald green and burned with the full potency of his dark potential.

Kill.

Destroy.

Make Yggdrasil shatter and topple into nothingness. Yes, he could rain fire and ash and kill them all…no.

NO.

A bird cried in the distance, sounding so remarkably like one of Indel's cries that it shocked him cold. He blinked, the emerald retreating back to grey-green.

Those weren't his thoughts, his dreams.

He was Loki, of Asgard.

Thanos. This was what **he **wanted. Thanos would not win, could never win. He would not let that monster destroy what little was left of who he used to be. His manic grin faded as he realized what he was doing and he spread out his fingers, water gently dousing the flames.

He forced himself to his feet and stumbled over to the old oak, resting a hand lightly on the bark as if in apology. He whispered and poured a little of his energy back into the majestic form, watching the burns fade and the screams quiet.

He was better off in the dungeons, at least there his destruction could only harm himself…

He hung his head and sat, his knees giving out. He was tired of being angry. He was tired of raging against a universe that heard nothing. It hurt too much to feel, but he couldn't seem to stop. What made it worse is that now the only parent he had left was the one that he was most estranged to. Because his mother was dead. Because she was dead…and it was his fault. He might as well have killed her with a sword to her heart and he could almost feel his wounded heart break and shatter completely.

His pride was gone now. Pride meant nothing now that everything he'd held dear was lost. He brought shaking hands to his mouth, as if he could somehow snatch back every poisonous word he'd uttered. He couldn't, and he was somewhat thankful they would never be heard, ashamed he had given them voice. He rocked in place, back and forth, the static rhythm soothing.

Home. He just wanted to go home.

Not with all the trouble he'd caused. Not in a thousand years of missteps and lies and deceit had he ever been able to truly apologize, not to anyone. Not and actually mean it. His actions were as they were, what was the point in an apology?

Words that he'd never been able to speak with sincerity flowed easily over his tongue now, pouring out of him in a deluge, "I'm sorry…it's not enough…it will never be enough but I'm…I'm so sorry, father..." It was futile, he knew. The only way he could be free was to remain hidden. His home was shielded and warded, not to mention the spells placed on himself to keep him from Heimdall's and his father's sight, yet he still wished they could see him. Unknown tears trickled down his cheeks, his breath hitching on choked sobs. Clutching his stomach as if in pain, curling in on himself and whispering, "…do you still see me?" And then, even quieter as something hard settled in his throat and his eyes burned with grief, "…am I still your son?"

* * *

ASGARD

Time moved so quickly, so strangely on Alfheim's moon than for anywhere else in the universe. Weeks on that moon would mean only a few days, even less for anywhere else. A far distance away, at the top of the world tree was the grandeur that was Asgard, home of the Aesir. The race of warriors that were strong and fierce, the defenders of the nine realms.

But there was a taint of sadness and loss to the great city. The walkway paths that led to the palace were lined with flowers in remembrance of the departed. Everyone knew of the departed Queen, who was no doubt sitting in Valhala right now, toasting with the great warriors of the past and at peace. But still there was mourning and so the main path had been dedicated to her and the flowers were lain. But now there was another sadness, another death to this great family. The second son, the trickster prince who was remembered for his wit and humor as much as he was remembered for his troublemaking and mischief. The brother who had fallen in battle, saving his older brother's life. Another path had been left to his remembrance, the path that led from the slow repairs of the Bi-frost to the palace entrance. There were flowers there as well, and one of the most recent offerings had been left by the first son.

Upon his return from Midgard, Thor had tried to tell him of Loki's fall in battle as gently as possible, but Odin could do little more than nod in acceptance and brought the court to close with finality and it would remain so for several days. In the throne room, where the All-Father sat on the throne alone and looked over the universe, a quiet king kept two fingers pressed to his lips to keep from shouting. He watched, and he listened as only he could. As the words and oaths of destruction had poured out of Loki, it was everything he had ever feared. Because his adopted son was dangerously powerful, and with the right incentive he could end Asgard and everything else in the exact fashion he had described.

_No, Loki_

Mistakes. Thor had been an arrogant fool before his banishment but he'd learned to be worthy of the throne. It had been one of the hardest choices Odin had ever had to make, but he'd done it for the good of the realms, not just for his son's sake. Now another son who needed to learn some of the same lessons. No one, not even he, was guiltless of making mistakes but time was needed so that Loki could learn from them. There were wrongs committed on both sides, but Loki was as much to blame for his current reality as Odin was.

He was known as the All-Father for a reason. Life was a journey, deep and personal for each individual. He could see the different twists and turns, the different journeys that a person would take. Loki had always confounded him, never following a path that made any sense. But he could now see a path being manufactured for his youngest, which would not be possible unless it was designed by the World Tree. Had Yggdrasil consulted him he never would have agreed to such a reckless, dangerous plan. It was necessary, he knew. For as long as there would be Thor, there would be Loki, but it could end all of them for all time if Loki rejected them.

Loki had the body of a man but he was still a boy in his heart, learning to be a man. He wanted to demand the immediate return of his youngest, but he kept silent. It was painful, to watch him and be absolutely helpless to interfere but it was good. Loki was finally stepping towards healing. He sat with his seeing blue eye staring out into the expanse of the world tree as he shakily whispered, "I see you, my son…I see you…"

* * *

_Please review, I feel lonely ;)_

_Seriously, thank you all for the encouragement._

_I'm doing a double feature, today. Next up: is Tony in hot water and Loki being afraid of G'dath._


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

MIDGARD

Tony Stark, the world's Iron Man, sipped the scotch at his bar on the observation deck, looking out at the skyline of New York. It was his kind of city. The city that never sleeps…and considering the amount of liquor and coffee usually floating in his system he rarely slept. Just as well, his sleep was never restful.

It was a quiet night for once, no bad guys to beat down and Pepper still off somewhere, mad at him. With a sigh he moved around the bar and sat down with a groan on the second step that would take him down to the lounge area, leaning back and glancing to his left with a smirk. He'd had a plaque engraved in his floor after Hulk had hammered a Loki shaped imprint there.

_Best ass kicking of the God of Mischief_

_Courtesy of a green rage monster_

He looked back out the windows, taking in the landing deck and remembering the brief amount of time he'd had to talk with the demi-god. It had been fun to play a bit of cat and mouse with him. He'd wanted to punch him, obviously, but the guy had been sharp and it was so hard to find a decent conversationalist. Idly Tony wondered what that said about him, that he could only relate to a power hungry lunatic.

He took another sip with distant eyes, not even surprised when Bruce Banner, the Hulk, silently settled down not too far away. A soft chuckle had him turning to see the scientist eyeing the plaque, "I'm not sorry I got it installed."

Smiling slightly, hands folded in his lap, "I expected nothing less."

Tilting his hand, "Want a drink?"

Holding up a hand, "No. Alcohol leads to impulse control problems…unless you want to have more dents in your tower."

Shrugging, "Your loss."

Bruce sighed and shook his head before standing up and loosely shoving his hands in his pockets, "I've been getting some pretty strange readings in New Mexico."

"What were you doing again?"

Sighing louder since this was Tony's company, he should know more about what was going on, but still patient, "Tracking magical signatures. It might be useful the next time Dr. Von Doom decides to try to take over the world."

Shrugging lightly, frowning at the stiffness of his fingers and wiggling them, "So you found weird magic around New Mexico."

"Yes."

Lifting an eyebrow, "I'm off the clock."

Bruce turned a little, "They seem remarkably similar to a certain scepter that was supposed to be destroyed by SHIELD last year."

Tony paused and made a choking sound, "Okay, back on the clock. WHAT?"

They both knew he was talking about the scepter Loki had been wielding. The one with the curious ability to control people's minds, like Hawkeye. Director Fury, SHIELD's boss, had assured them the scepter would be destroyed so it could never be used against them again. Nodding, "I almost went a little green…anyway, I did a little digging and found out through…someone that SHIELD built an underground research laboratory near Thor's first landing site."

Wiggling his eyebrows, "Someone?"

Bruce blushed but was used enough to Tony's teasing that he ignored most of it. He wouldn't have taken the billionaire's offer to become a researcher in his company's tower if he couldn't maintain his temper, "Moving on, please."

Tony grinned before finishing the glass, "Okay. So your bed buddy found out our secret intelligence agency lied to us…big surprise… and underestimated your intelligence. I'm insulted. I'm tempted to have JARVIS spam the hell out of them… actually, that's not a bad idea…"

"What can we do about it?"

Shrugging, "Confront Fury who will undoubtedly deny it."

"What if we get a few more visitors who want that staff as badly as they wanted the cube?"

Grimacing, knowing the last thing New York needed right now was another invasion. More than a year later and the repairs still weren't complete. He was glad the death toll hadn't been nearly as high as most feared but it was still a waste of life, "Good point. And nobody wants a repeat of New York." Huffing before standing up, "This is interrupting prime drinking hours, I am un-amused. Okay, since we can't do it we're going to just have to be as sneaky as they are. JARVIS."

His AI's cool, collected voice responded as promptly as ever, "Yes, sir?"

"Contact Pepper for me."

"What shall I say it is regarding?"

Crossing his arms, "Tell her to get me in touch with Xavier's group…or the Fab Four. Uh, but make it sound nice." Glancing at Bruce, "One of them should be able to slip through security."

Raising an eyebrow questioningly, "Why do you need to ask Pepper nicely? What did you do?"

Grimacing, "She's still a little pissed I had to cancel on her." Grimace deepening, "Again." Bruce tilted his head a little, "I got a little drunk, okay?"

"The request is being relayed, sir. She will return your call promptly."

Tony frowned since usually the AI would just patch her through, "When?"

"I believe her exact phrasing was 'when hell freezes over'. Sir."

Tony's jaw dropped while Bruce swallowed a chuckle, running a hand through his hair and picking up his phone, speed dialing, "Pepper-…but-…you-…" Holding his palm to the face of the phone and grimacing at Bruce, "Rain check on saving the world." He walked away, phone back to his ear, "Come on, Pep, you know this is as mature as I get!"

* * *

ALFHEIM

Loki eyed her with all the wariness of a snake facing a mongoose…although he was fairly certain he was the very dead snake in this instance. G'dath was not one to be underestimated. He had no idea how old she was, but it was obvious she had several millennia on him. Even if that weren't the case, she was more cunning than he was…and that was what scared him. She smirked and casually moved a small bit of marble across the wooden surface. Scowling, Loki knocked over his piece. Check mate.

She clapped once in delight and reached into her bag. He slumped and pushed the chess set to the side, resting his chin in his palm, elbow on the table. Damn. She put the book in front of him and fussily brushed invisible dust off the cover. Snarling, "I will read the damn thing but I don't see the point."

Letting her hands fall into her lap, she slowly raised an eyebrow, "You are a prince-…"

"Not anymore."

"…of Asgard, and you fail to see the point of knowing the other realms."

Waving a hand at the book in disdain, "They are just mortals."

Her other eyebrow rose, "So are you."

Jumping to his feet and hissing, "I am Aesir by choice and Jotun by blood, both of which tower above Midgardians in might and accomplishment. Those **mortals **do not even deserve the life granted to them by Yggdrasil."

Sighing, "Oh…sit down."

Clenching his fists and sneering down at her, "And if I do not? What could you possibly do to heel me? I am not your child nor your servant. I am, at most, your apprentice which is a facilitation of learning, not of you owning my person."

Something dark and foreboding settled in her eyes. The kind of foreboding he felt when he'd pushed Odin's or Frigga's tempers too far, "First of all, my comparison to mortals has more to do with the fact that both of those peoples age and die, which those of Vanaheim and Alfheim do not. So as much as you may wish it different, the simple fact is that yes, you are more similar to mortals than I. Secondly, as you are my apprentice and I your master, I do have the capability of sealing away every scrap of magic at your disposal so do be very careful in showing me the proper respect owed to someone of my station. Third of all, that venom that you have chosen to spew is the very reason that you are unworthy of the throne for no king should ever look upon a people as unworthy of life. Not to mention if his lordship remembers, those pathetic creatures handed you your ass in a most spectacular fashion and a good portion of the nine realms is aware of it." A quiver raced up Loki's spine, no color on his face, "Sit. Down."

He sat down.

She blinked at it was gone, the darkness hidden behind sarcasm and whit. He was surprised there was no hint of amusement at his capitulation in her eyes, her tone almost gentle, "You are young so I will forgive you of much, but you have your father's temper. Do the rest of the realms a favor and learn to think for yourself."

Brow furrowing, "And what does his temper or my ability to think have to do with Midgardian history?"

"Aesir have looked down on mortals for some time-…"

"As do elves, madam."

Nodding slowly, "Yes, most do. But it is not a state of being I agree with. Your rants and raves are simply reprocessed garbage that Aesir have been saying for a millennia. You are old enough and smart enough to decide for yourself without their bias. Your father's defense of them, particularly his protection, was wise in that regard."

"I never understood that."

"Then allow me the opportunity to explain…or do you prefer to sulk for a while?"

Huffing before gesturing, "I am listening."

"Will wonders never cease?" She smirked when he scowled at her yet again. She was going to have to find a way to show him that expression. It was becoming dangerously close to a pout, "They live but a fraction of life, yet in such a small span their accomplishments are great. While in a hundred years most of our races are not even considered small children, in that same span they create and grow and learn. They are too young to show true accomplishment with Yggdrasil or magic, but their innovations live beyond them and are passed on to their children." He nodded slightly, conceding that point. Stark and Banner had been impressive to him, even if he may never admit it out loud. And Agent Romanov was a curiously clever creature, very sly and cunning. He'd underestimated them, "They will continue to grow and change. They are the epideme of life while we exist in stagnation. But they are still a child race. They are not ready to truly harmonize with the other realms, so Odin has protected them with Asgardian might until they are ready."

G'dath had long come to the conclusion that Loki was very much like mortals in that regard and one of the reasons he had never fit in with Asgardian society. He was change. Something different and unique, even if he wished he wasn't. Life wasn't neat and orderly. It was vibrant and out of control. It was chaos. And he was aptly named the God of Chaos.

"Why Midgardian history?"

"If you understand the past, you will appreciate their present."

Brow furrowing, "Why is my understanding important to you?"

She studied him quietly for several moments and he resisted the urge to squirm. It was always disconcerting when she did that, like she was seeing something in him that he couldn't, "Perhaps because I would hate to see Indel grow up with your views about mortals."

He couldn't hold her gaze and he studied the cover. Damn. His own mother hadn't been as skilled at cutting him off at the knee.

She rose to her feet, pausing just behind him, "Besides, if I recall correctly, one of your former traveling companions had been mortal…and you certainly went to a lot of trouble to protect her life."

Mumbling a grumble, "Thor's idea, not mine."

She laughed huskily and squeezed his shoulder lightly, "Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night."

* * *

_Coming up..._

_Loki dreams of the future he could have with Jane...and gets curious._


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

ALFHEIM

_Brow furrowing slightly in confusion, Loki sat up and looked around._

_Oh._

_This was a particularly peculiar dream. His grey-green eyes swept over the room, realizing it was most definitely Asgard and with a frown he strode the distance to the doors and stepped outside. The familiar corridor caused a brief moment of sadness but he pushed it to the side._

_He wasn't sure if this was his magic or Yggdrasil but in either case visions like these were always important. They were warnings to guide in the right direction. But they were also encouragement that this could be the future if the path is followed. He hadn't had many and it had been several centuries since the last time._

_He took the stairs down to the practice yard, but for once it was strangely empty. Hearing the sound of laughter he followed it down the path to the private gardens of the royal family. His jaw tightened to see his father dressed in casual robes, sitting under a tree and watching children play with a soft smile on his face. A man no longer under the burden of kingship. Why would he be dreaming of Thor as king?_

_"Dada!"_

_Loki whipped around, seeing his elfling perhaps a few years from being a warrior's age, perhaps 10 by human standards, dressed like a young prince, being tickled by a version of himself. He wasn't wearing his normal green and gold armor, but neither was he dressed as a commoner. He was dressed like a prince of Asgard._

_"I will save you, brother!"_

_His mouth opened in surprise as a young boy of perhaps six or so charged the distance. A small version of himself, down to the brilliant green eyes he'd held as a child. The little boy seemed to easily tip over the trickster and the two children immediately attacked their father. It was too much for him to process and Loki just took a step back and took it all in as it happened in front of him._

_"The mighty warrior, brought down by a couple of princelings." The teasing voice filled with gentle amusement and love caused Loki's body to flush with heat, turning to see Jane Foster dressed like a princess and watching over them fondly. Then everything in him froze. She was beautiful. Her golden skin almost glowed in the sunlight, her hair in loose tendrils and almost long enough to touch her waist. The dress that she wore flowed around her, a light material of golds and blues. There was no crown on her head, which was the most puzzling of all. What was she doing here, if she wasn't Thor's queen?_

_The other Loki got to his feet, youngest thrown over his shoulder who continued to kick and wiggle, "Milady." He growled the word and she raised an eyebrow, giggling when he tugged her forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her waiting lips. Her hands came up, the left one bracing on his shoulder and showcasing and white and gold wedding band while the other tangled in his hair._

_Loki's jaw dropped before he clenched his fists and turned his head. He refused to be jealous of himself in a damn dream. His eyes widened incredulously…he was JEALOUS? He looked back up just as the kiss ended._

_Indel pulled a face, "Icky." Jane turned her head a little to stick her tongue out at him. He grinned boyishly and took his brother, "C'mon, Vili, let's leave them to their gross kissing."_

_The other him sighed at the boy, "If Tony is the one teaching you to talk like that I will hang him by his heels."_

_Indel snorted, walking backwards, "No you won't, Pepper's too scary."_

_Grumbling at Jane, "I used to be frightening."_

_She patted his chest lightly with her palm, "Poor Loki, no one's afraid of you anymore." A wicked glimmer entered her eyes, "Fear of you has been hereby banished to the ranks of fluffy kitties."_

_Sighing, he stuck his tongue out at her and she giggled. He kissed her temple before pressing a gentle hand to her slightly swollen middle, "Another boy, do you think?"_

_She groaned good-naturedly, "I hope not. I need the female support."_

_Raising an eyebrow, "Sif doesn't count?"_

_Jane rolled her eyes up at him, "Sif is as bad as your brother, of course she doesn't count." He grinned, "Besides, it might be nice to have a little princess running around."_

_He growled and dipped her, ignoring his father's quiet retreat with an amused chuckle, "Asgard already has a princess running around our halls." She reached up to stroke his cheek with her palm, brown eyes soft as she gazed up at him._

_He pulled her back to her feet and she snuggled into his side, her temple pressed into his shoulder, "Hmm…"_

_His arms were wrapped around her firmly, right hand moving in a soothing pattern along her side, "Are you happy, my love?" She giggled and he sighed, "What?"_

_"You sound so serious."_

_Sounding a tad affronted, "I can be serious."_

_She rolled her eyes with an affectionate smile, "Loki, you've spent most of your life being too serious."_

_Shrugging minutely, "Perhaps."_

_Jane nodded firmly, "And as I am the Goddess of Mischief, it is my sworn duty to make sure you remain silly and sweet."_

_Now he rolled his eyes, "Silly and sweet?"_

_Nodding enthusiastically, "Yep, yep!"_

_A spark entered his eyes, mischievous grin spreading, "Well…Thor is throwing a gathering feast tonight..." She watched him and raised an eyebrow. She knew that look. It would be a harmless prank, but it would be noteworthy. Her hand stroked the left side of his face even as the sunlight dimmed and the sound faded_.

Loki gasped awake with a jerk in his bed on Alfheim's moon, throwing himself in a seated position before realizing too late he was near the edge of the bed and tumbling to the floor with a yelp. His heart was pounding, face red and body flushed with heat. He panted for a moment before groaning and sinking his head onto the wooden floor, hands moving to curl into his hair. What in Hel was that?

* * *

Loki's fingers drummed against his lips as he studied the mirror. He couldn't and wouldn't look in on Odin, but he was becoming distractedly curious as to Jane Foster's fate. Which was absolutely absurd since he'd hardly spoken to the mortal, although that slap was delightfully memorable. Still, there was something about her beautiful mind and fiery temper that intrigued him. And that cursed dream had definitely peaked his curiosity.

Shrugging to himself that he was Loki and he did what he wanted, he leaned in to see she was off to one side of a series of rooms. He could hear her humming and this should be the point where he backs away from the mirror and goes about the rest of his day. She was alive, mystery solved. But he lingers, hungry to see her one more time.

When he does, he blinks once before an evil, evil smirk curls his lip. She's only wearing a cream robe, hair damp from a shower and as much as he shouldn't he cannot make himself look away. There is nothing truly revealing about her clothes, but for some reason he is absolutely riveted. Asgardian armor reveals more on a woman, Sif being the only female warrior, but he had long ago trained himself not to dwell. If Sif knew as a youth he was absolutely infatuated with her and actually showed it, she would have handed him his head.

His eyes map out the dip of the fluffy cloth, revealing only a small, chaste portion of her chest. It is cinched tightly at the waist, the belt of material loosely knotted. He straightens a little and looks down to see slender legs and the most perfect feet in creation. Her lips move as she looks in the mirror with a subtle frown to herself, he receiving a profile of her from the reflective surface to her left.

She picks up the brush and starts running strokes through her damp hair and that's when he realizes she's not humming, she's mumbling calculations to herself. By the Norns, was there anything sexier in the universe? He watches her mouth form beautiful numbers as if the concepts and ideas were tangible. His mind takes a completely salacious turn and his eyes darken.

Indel babbling pulls him back from his completely unchaste thoughts. He blinks twice at himself, face burning and heart pounding. His behavior was completely, **completely**, unbecoming. Princes, former or not, were not voyeurs. His mother would make a special trip from Valhalla to box his ears properly if she knew. Although wasn't it interesting that as he watched her, he wasn't thinking about her being mortal, all that he saw was a very beautiful woman.

He waves a hand to clear the image with a mental promise to avoid her rooms in the future and retreating to his books.

* * *

MIDGARD

Bruce Banner steps quietly off the elevator, walking with his head tilted down slightly. He had taken Tony's offer to stay here and research and was quite thankful that he was pretty much left to himself. Well, except for Tony dropping in to pester about this or that, but that was just Tony Stark.

He liked it here, but he missed his anonymity. Here he was a scientist, but he was also an Avenger. And those that knew, knew that he was also the Hulk. His inner green beast of uncontrollable rage. No one knew how exposing it was when he lost control, how humiliating for his feelings to be so blatantly on display. The only consolation he had was that when 'the other guy' made an appearance, it saved people's lives. It was the only way he still lived with himself.

He turned the corner just as a petite brunette was walking away from the kitchen, she jumping back in surprise and her cup falling out of her grip, "Shoot!" Her hand shot out, touching his forearm lightly, "I'm s-sorry, I wasn't paying attention-are you okay?" He grit his teeth and slowly nodded, keeping his breathing even as she hurried to the kitchenette for a towel, "I'm a complete klutz at times." Giving him a self-depreciating smile, brown eyes friendly, "My brain goes on auto-pilot and…" With a shrug she looked around at the mess before attacking the wooden floor with the towel, scooping up the broken remnants and carrying them to the sink, "Would you like some tea?"

Trying to smile but knowing it looked like a grimace, "Yes, please."

She nodded with her back to him and busied herself with pulling down mugs and ingredients, "So what is your focus…oh, are we not allowed to talk about that? Shoot, I knew I forgot to ask about something…"

He found himself smiling before he thought about it, "I work with gamma radiation predominantly."

Jane froze and peered over her shoulder, "I thought Tony wasn't making weapons."

The tone was polite but the eyes were just slightly narrow enough that the question was serious and important, "He doesn't. I've been applying the sciences of it to track magical signatures around the planet."

Turning back around with two cups of steeping tea, "Wow. Wait, you…you wouldn't have been on the team that helped track down the Tesseract, were you?"

Not many people, at least not humans, called the cube a Tesseract, "You've seen it before?"

Dusting off her hand, "I have no manners, sorry. Jane Foster, astrophysicist, Erik Selvig is a friend of mine and he became intimately familiar with it thanks to…Loki."

Yelping himself in surprise and taking her hand excitedly, "Doctor Jane Foster, I've been wanting to discuss exotic matter for years with you. I'm…Bruce Banner." Jane's eyes widened with a dazzled smile.

They found a quiet corner of the couch and sat facing one another. Bruce sipped his tea, "So what are you working on?"

Jane pulled in a breath, always trying to prepare herself for the scorn that usually followed, "I'm trying to complete a Bi-Frost. Well, at least our version of it. A true bridge is too impractical and the power needed astronomical…a traversable wormhole is more practical." Rushing forward excitedly when no scoffing noises stopped her, "Imagine, being able to go to other planets and meet…I mean it would be amazing! There are nine recognized realms out there and no human has ever been to any of them!"

"I hear you already did a bit of traveling."

Nodding, "Okay, so I've been but I'm nobody." Smiling sadly, "And yay, I got to see Asgard, which was beautiful…and dangerous. I almost died. And an elven planet called Svartalfheim, but I don't really remember much of that planet, I was a little possessed by then."

"Possessed?"

"Oh, it…well, they didn't really talk too much about it with me. Something Thor called an Infinity Gem…I think."

Brow furrowing, "But…possessed?"

Shivering, "By the power of the Aether. But I'm human, so it was killing me."

Her eyes lost focus for a moment, sadness tinged them, and Bruce frowned in concern, "Are you alright?"

Smiling weakly, "Yay, I…someone who saved my life died there."

"I'm sorry. Was it a close friend?"

Sighing softly, tucking her hair behind her ear and knowing that there would be no sympathy for him to be found, "It…it was Loki. He died saving Thor." She'd known him for an even shorter time than she'd known Thor, but it was strange how much empathy she felt for him. Buried under all that anger and sarcasm...she wasn't sure but she thought it was a man she might have liked. Bruce's look turned incredulous, "I know, hard to believe but I saw it for myself. He played both sides to save my life, and then he attacked the elf about to kill Thor and-…" She shrugs uncomfortably, not wanting to go into the details and sips her tea.

Bruce had no love for the demi-god but if Loki really did that for Thor, it made him wonder just how much they really understood him. Clearing his throat, "So, where is Thor now?"

"Oh, he went back to Asgard. Future king business of course, and now that he's lost his mother too I think he needs a little time away from everybody."

Wincing in sympathy at that, "His mother **and** his brother?"

Jane sipped her tea, lost in her thoughts. She turned to the right and froze for a moment. Gray-green eyes. Searching, cautious, wary eyes that seemed to stare right into her soul. She blinked and turned back to the left, eyes forgotten. Hopping in place and pushing Asgard to the back of her mind for now, "Oh, but tell me more about your opinion on exotic matter…" The two got into a heated discussion on any manner of topic, and from the window just to the right of them, a translucent Loki hungrily watched and listened.

* * *

_NOTES: You're all rock stars! Thank you for the praise! Thank you for the ideas! I might just be able to incorporate it in. Keep 'em coming :)_

_NEXT: __Indel + Loki moments._


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

ALFHEIM

Crying was a weakness Loki rarely allowed himself and he completely disregarded the last few times. Okay, maybe it was more than just a few times…lately…he was turning into such a weakling and he hated it. But right now he really felt like weeping in defeat. Indel would Not. Stop. Crying. He didn't have a fever. It wasn't elven colic from what he could determine. There was no need to change him and he'd already been fed. Loki paced with him in his arms, tails fanning out as he turned and still in the habit of wearing his armor when he wasn't in the village.

He wasn't in the mood for this. His attempts at sleep had been pathetic, always tumbling into the same night terror every time he closed his eyes. Of faces and half formed memories of what happened after he fell. His treatment by the Chitauri and the Other had been shoved to the back of his mind but something during that time had been buried. Something he had wanted to forget that was trying to resurface.

The scent of ash and coppery blood.

The screams.

The clicking sounds of mechanical-like laughter.

The boy's cries took up a fevered pitch and Loki moaned, "Whatever is wrong with you?"

Ever since he'd had him, Indel was a sporadic sleeper, which didn't leave Loki in the best of moods but this was a baby. What did he expect? This was different. His cries had been going on for hours. He'd been woken out of a dead sleep by the piercing wails and they hadn't ceased since. His pride was almost ground down enough to seek out G'dath's help again, who would no doubt laugh at him in her silent way. He'd given up on trying to use any spell on Indel that would cease his ability to hear the boy's cries. The last one he'd used to make himself deaf had resulted in the volume doubling when it backfired on him.

He swung him lightly in his arms and murmured a soft elvish lullaby. He didn't have the best singing voice but it was passable, a song he'd heard Azni hum once or twice. But tonight his little elfling refused to be soothed. He ran his fingers gently over the scrunched up, warm face and through the spikes of white hair on his head, "_Fred min sønn_…"

Little fists clenched and shook in protest, battling some unseen foe. Stopping he lifted Indel up, underarms supported by his hands and fingers keeping his head steady. He really, really wanted to shake him, little face red and pained. Growling softly, "Why are you so dis-…"

His words ended in a horrified gasp as a splatter of warm milk glanced off his chin and coated his neck and chest. He stared at this child with wide eyes, mouth hanging open and frozen in shock. It was speckled along his cheek and nose. It was in his hair. And it was drenching the tunic under his armor and sliding along his skin. Loki shuddered in revulsion, his expression priceless, and all Indel did was giggle at him and yawn. Slowly his eyes narrowed as they flashed green, lips thinning and anyone else would run away screaming. This little boy just reached out and grabbed for his nose.

In the palace of Asgard, as courtiers spoke and discussed important matters to their king, they were stunned to silence when he started to chuckle.

* * *

Loki threw the rag away in disgust, examining his armor closely to be sure it was thoroughly clean. He sighed and stored it in a dimensional pocket instead of putting it back on. He was looking after a baby and apprenticing to be a healing mage, a mighty warrior right now he was not. It was a habit, one he'd picked up over the centuries of living on Asgard. Always be prepared for attack, for war.

He frowned to himself. Not when he'd been young. Even when Thor was constantly wearing his practice gear to fight invisible enemies unless the instructors required it of him he never wore armor. He blinked as realization filled him. The clothes he'd been given in the dungeons…they had been his as a child, just altered to fit him. His brow furrowed. Someone must have raided the back of his closets for them…

He opened his hand and called in one of the books, staring at it with new eyes. Thor was the only one who had known of the secret compartment under the armoire where he'd kept this. Another book that he'd enjoyed as a child. They were reminding him of who he'd been, even though he hadn't realized it at the time. He sent the book away for now but it left him wondering if Thor had stayed away, not because he'd wanted to, but because mother had asked him to.

But why? What would be the point? He had been banished to the dungeons by the All-Father for the rest of his life. Right? That's what Odin had said. It hadn't been a lie, he would have detected it instantly. Loki's brow furrowed in confusion before he sighed and idly rubbed at his forehead. He didn't have the answer so there was little point in focusing on it.

Resting his chin in his hand, watching the baby, "Little brat."

Indel had definitely gotten most of it on him than on himself but the boy had required a bath or else Loki was never picking him up again. The little elf waved his arms and kicked his feet, carefully laid out towels keeping him in the water but supported so he couldn't roll and drown himself. Dipping his fingers in the water, he lightly flicked the boy in the face with water droplets and was rewarded with a squeal, happy green eyes crinkling in delight. A reluctant grin tugged at the corner of Loki's mouth before he yawned.

"What are you going to be like? Will you be like me, logical and mischievous with an overinflated ego and quite content to spend your days reading?" Indel's arms shot into the air, body even naturally paler than he was and luminous in the firelight, "Will you be like Thor, brash and silly with too big a heart and too small a brain?" His small hands grabbed at nothing, squealing again. Cupping a little of the warm water, he let it run over the fuzzy white hair, another classic feature of a dark elf, "Will you be like mother, nurturing and protective with a lion's courage? Or perhaps father, gruff and strong, full of power and might who still makes little tricksters like me tremble at the knee."

Legs kicked excitedly with a series of babbles, splashing Loki lightly. Grumbling to himself, he scooped Indel out of the warm water and dried him off, tickling his soft belly and grinning fully when the boy giggled. Grabbing a tiny ankle lightly, he nibbled on the tiny toes without thinking about it and chuckled as another squeal filled the air. A small hand reached out and grabbed for a lank of black hair, yanking with a giggle. Loki winced, "Ouch, Indel."

The hand immediately released him and Loki lifted an eyebrow in surprise. Those wide green eyes studied him before the hand wandered back to his mouth, gumming on his own fingers. Loki slowly shook his head, "You are going to be as frighteningly intelligent as I am." It wasn't ego that made him say it. He knew he was bright, his mother had always said so. But he acknowledged, if only to himself, a truth that he never had before. That bright didn't mean wise. He found himself going through the routine automatically, slipping on a sleep shirt for him before holding him up to talk to him.

Tilting his little body gently from side to side, tone lightening as he thought about his rather silly habit of wearing his armor, "Were you telling me I looked stupid? Is that what-…" Loki tilted his head slightly and paused. Where in Hel had that impulse come from? Was he really attempting to converse with an infant that couldn't understand him? It was completely beyond his logic and he was a thoroughly logical creature. Yet some instinct demanded that he talk to and play with this child that couldn't understand him.

What would be the harm in it? There was nothing wrong with it and Indel had to eventually learn how to speak anyway. He'd heard Midgardian parents talk to their own offspring and he sneered at the very thought of making such noises. This child was his get and no one would ever say he raised an insipid fool.

His brow furrowed but he acquiesced nonetheless, tucking the baby into the crook of his arm as he moved to the couch and stretched out. But what to tell him, that was the question. The beginning, he supposed. His brow creased…who was he? Laufeyson? Odinson? Who was Odin? Thor?

Indel squeaked and babbled and he grinned, the words slipping out his mouth and deciding not to think about it, just saying whatever felt natural, "Hello, Indel. I am Loki Odinson of Asgard…and I am your…father." The word felt strange in his mouth, yet he had no doubt now that he would get used to it. Hela had used the title often enough, "Your grandmother was Frigga, the most wonderful woman ever created in the nine realms. Your g-grandfather is Odin Borson, the All-Father of Asgard." Loki swallowed once, it might have been his pride, "And your uncle is Thor Odinson my…the first born of the king. Perhaps one day you will meet them, but for now let me tell you about the wonders of Asgard…"

* * *

AUTHOR NOTES:

_peace my son = Fred min sønn (Norwegian)_

_I don't speak it, I just used a translating program for it._

_Thank you everyone for your encouragement. I'll probably put up the next chapter in a couple of days. The story starts gaining some momentum towards the Loki/Jane shipper. Remember, just like any great love, the ones that last takes time to develop ;)_

_NEXT:_

_Time marches on for Loki and we get a flashback for Hela_


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

MIDGARD

Tony flew through the air, thrusters pushing him through the stratosphere. He'd needed to just get out for a while, the world unusually quiet when it came to bad guys. Which could only mean that when the inevitable happened, it was going to be bad. But he was getting away from the tower for another reason and didn't have anything to do with Pepper's current mood. No word from any of the Avenger's supposed allies. Not if it had anything to do with SHIELD and Tony couldn't figure out what was up with that. Xavier's group was being unusually tight lipped. The Fab 4 were guarded even more than usual. Even Doc Strange wouldn't return calls. Not unusual but he usually at least acknowledged receiving them. Something weird was going on.

By the third ring Tony rolled his eyes in annoyance, seeing Steve Rogers face on a corner panel, "JARVIS, take a message. Cap can sit on his shield for an hour."

"Sir, you've been avoiding his calls since Tuesday."

"Well, one more day won't kill him. Message. Now."

"Yes, sir."

Pushing himself through some clouds, seeing SHIELD's hovering ship in the distance, he slowed. Dammit, he'd come up here to avoid everyone, "Sir, Director Fury requests your presence."

Lip twitching before mentally shrugging when he couldn't think of any reason, recently, that Fury would want to yell at him. Unlike Steve, Fury would get creative in hunting him down, "Yea, on it." He modified his course a little and landed on the deck with a clang. There were agents and military looking after the planes, tethered to wired lines so they could walk without falling off the Heli-carrier. His iron suit was heavy enough he just walked towards the nearest portal inside.

He froze with a frown, seeing something on one of the screens, "JARVIS, upper right corner…analyze what that was."

"Right away, sir."

His eyes widened before JARVIS had even finished analyzing, "Shit! Warn Fury we've got Chitauri up here." When he'd nuked the ship in New York all of the cyborgs had just collapsed. How was this one alive?

Spinning, he shot into the air, the cyborg creature chattering as it shot at him with a hand held weapon. Ducking to the left, right hand held out, "Missed me, Borg boy." He fired the pulsar and it tumbled back with a screech, its own weapon falling from its grip and blowing off the side of the ship. Tony landed and took aim, "Why are you here?" It chattered at him, which he took to be laughing, "Yeah…what's funny?" Something green slowly oozed from its chest and Tony took another step, ignoring the sound of alarms, "Why are you here?"

More chattering, "Your kind are even more pathetic than anticipated."

Lifting an eyebrow from behind his visor, "Hmm…I'm not the one on his ass."

Clicks filled the air, "We will retrieve it, the Jötunn runt was not nearly as clever as he believed."

Narrowing his eyes, "Okay." Grabbing for a piece of his armor, backhanding him, "What is a Jötunn runt and what are you retrieving?"

Blood dribbled and oozed out of its mouth. It laughed again and Tony grit his teeth, leaning in and thumb clamping into the wound. There might have been respect flashing in those dead eyes but all Tony felt was disgust with himself, "The runt wore AEsir disguise but failed to take the gem back to Asgard with the thunderer." He knew AEsir were Asgardians. Was a Jötunn a species? Thor had said Loki was adopted but he never mentioned another species. That tall bastard was a runt? Cackling, "His screams were so delightful. We broke him…and now my master will tear your realm apart for it."

The Chitauri shuddered and collapsed to the side. His pulsar wouldn't have been enough to cause that kind of damage. Not with only one shot. A plant, maybe, but why? It had been far too easy to gain that information, as cryptic as it had been. Fury and his cronies would analyze everything. It clicked in Tony's mind. They, whoever they were, were trying to make SHIELD nervous.

Even as soldiers bustled around him Tony turned and chewed over what he'd been told. The thunderer. Well, when it came to Asgard that was Thor. And the only person who'd accompanied Thor from earth other than Jane, had been Loki. So, what gem was he talking about?

Mentally he sighed, knowing he was going to have to analyze everything about the New York invasion all over again. But something else was troubling him and he hoped he was wrong. Thor had seemed so befuddled when it came to Loki's actions. If these Chitauri really had tortured Loki into attacking earth, it had been intentional to focus the Avengers and SHIELD on a target. Which meant that there was something out there that could arrive at any time to finish what the demi-god started.

"Sir, I am detecting an increase in Director Fury's-…"

Sighing, cutting his AI off, "Thanks, JARVIS. Start pulling up all the footage we have of Loki, from the moment the cube activates until he leaves earth after the attack. File name Gem."

"Yes, sir. Compiling."

Turning with a groan, "I need coffee, this is going to be a long week."

* * *

ALFHEIM

Living out here in the woodlands had forced Loki to acclimate to the reality that all of those survival skills that he'd hated to learn as a child were actually remarkably practical. He wasn't a warrior standard marksman when it came to a bow and arrow, but he was good enough for claiming dinner for himself.

All those lessons Odin had insisted he learn he now put to good use, creating a bow and a series of arrows for himself. The one thing he hadn't been taught was how he was going to hunt while still lugging around a 16 pound infant. Azni had been kind enough to teach him how to make something she called a papoose. It strapped to his back rather easily, Indel wrapped up tightly and seemed very content to fall asleep.

With his first few kills he forged practical clothing for himself to replace his Asgardian armor, the animal's skins having a leather like quality to them. A jacket for later months, a jerkin for now and boots that were designed to allow him to tread silently. He started making clothing for Indel for as he grew, knowing from the talk that the seasons were about to blow cold and the child would need better clothes since he was still prone to get sick.

"Hello!"

Loki raised his head from his work of tacking down a fur for drying that would be good for a coverlet on the bed, magic dagger appearing in his hand without thinking. He watched through narrowed eyes as a tall elf waived to him from the other side of the barrier. A quick glance at Indel who had managed to roll himself onto his stomach and was peering ahead with wide eyes and he let the dagger vanish, snapping his fingers and his elvish guise appeared as the barrier dropped. Not the wards of course, he wasn't a complete fool.

The elf pressed his hands together and made a slight bowing gesture before walking forward, either not seeing or not sensing the barrier pop back into existence behind him. A curiously colored elf, his hair a rich brown, as were his eyes, "I am Elder Trax."

At the time it hadn't occurred to Loki to alter his own hair color. Too late now but thankfully no one seemed to question it. The elder was an elected position, in charge of everything in the community from guard postings to welfare checks. He was also the one who organized bi-weekly meetings in the community to 'discuss' things, which Loki had been able to escape thus far. Since he lived on the outskirts he could see that this visit was a welfare check, but he wasn't deluded in thinking it wasn't also a ploy to get him to attend. Dusting his hands and rising smoothly to his feet, satisfied that he was taller than the elf by about two inches, "Lokhi."

'Loki' was as unique a name in the universe as could be had, no one wanting to name their child after mischief itself. Believed to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, no doubt. However, there were several versions of his name that did pop up from time to time and that had been one of the most recent.

"I am honored by the introduction. My authority begins and ends with the village line but I wanted to introduce myself."

"I see." Reaching down for Indel, the little imp smiling up at him with a bottom set of four little teeth already in, he tucked him into the crook of his arm and gave Trax another glance.

"I trust that all is well. It starts getting cold early and we do not see much of you in the village."

Inclining his head in a nod, "We have acclimated well, here."

"A very handsome boy."

Smirking, "Thank you, though he does take after his mother than me."

"Ah, and your mate is well, I am afraid I-…"

"She is not with us." Technically true since he had no mate and the boy's mother was unknown on Svartalfheim, but Trax would infer by his tone that she died and never bring it up again, exactly as Loki intended.

"Then I offer condolences for her life departure." Loki nodded slightly which could be taken as a bow of thanks were he inclined to offer such displays, which he wasn't, "Well, I wanted to welcome you officially and wish you and your son well."

"Many thanks returned." The elf bowed again and turned to leave, Loki smirking once he was out of sight. That was almost too easy.

Trax popped back into view, "Oh, yes, G'dath wished me to remind you to attend the bi-weekly community updates. Our next meeting is two hours before sundown today." He held up his hand again before departing. And the damn elf used the one person's authority he couldn't deny. He was Loki, he did what he wanted when he wanted…except quite frankly G'dath scared him.

Loki held up his own hand and muttered under his breath, "Damn."

Indel blinked up at him and grinned, "Da!" Loki's head jerked down, staring at the little bundle in his arms in wonder. Indel bounced, arms making jerking up and down motions, "Da! Dada! Da!" He suddenly remembered one other time when he'd been called 'father', the day that Hela had been created, long ago.

_Vibrant_ g_reen eyes looked over the pages carefully, small hands thumbed through the book, ancient runes carved into the floor of the library. It's not as if the damaged stone mattered since he was one of the few in Asgard to even use the library. Thor was off on an adventure, his older brother having already passed his trials as a warrior. It would be a couple of more decades before he was old enough for his own passage as a warrior so Loki took the opportunity to master his craft._

_ This was a spell that he'd been intrigued with for some time, to double his own power, hidden at the very back of the library at the highest point on the shelf. The curses that kept him from touching the volume had been particularly tricky to crack but that was part of the reason he'd surpassed his tutors many years ago…nothing could be kept from him for long._

_ Loki placed the book outside of the circle and closed his grimoire, sending it into dimensional storage along with some of his most prized possessions. He wore all black today, a simple tunic and breeches. He wasn't completely certain what would happen to his clothes so he chose pieces that he wasn't especially fond of. Even his boots were off, sitting outside of the circle of runes._

_ Closing his eyes, he whispered the words under his breath, an echo of whispers surrounding him. The words moved and danced and swirled faster and faster and he jerked in surprise, eyes open as the green merged with the swirling golden hue of Yggdrasil. The wind whipped in a vortex, the skies outside of the palace darkening and the ground groaning._

_ Stillness._

_Silence._

_Loki jerked and screamed as fire and ice collided and ripped into his flesh down to the marrow. He collapsed and writhed, trying to crawl away from his own skin as flesh split and blood spilt. He clawed at his face as flesh peeled away, bones splintered, and his spinal column snapped._

_ Silence._

_ Darkness._

_ There was no pain, it but a distant memory. Not a drop of gore on the ground, as if it had never happened. His grey-green eyes opened and looked to the left, a girl with midnight locks lying next to Loki and breathing in the exact same pattern as he was, wearing the same clothes he was. She blinked and turned to the right, her dark green eyes sparkling as a smirk identical to his own crossed her face. He felt an echoing smirk as she whispered huskily to him, "Hello, father."_

A blink and the memory faded, firmly back in the present. Indel's first word. The grin on his face grew until Loki was beaming at the little boy. At his little boy.

* * *

NOTES:

Tada...and we have where Hela came from ;)

I'm not even remotely done with her yet. Thank you all for the love!

NEXT:

Thor broods and Jane dreams


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

ASGARD

Thor leaned over the balcony, staring at the distance. He hadn't left Asgard since his return from Midgard but he still wore his traditional armor. He still wore Mjolnir on his belt. But he also wasn't interested in an adventure and had already told his friends flatly not to ask. He didn't turn his head as Sif silently approached from his right, keeping his eyes forward. She seemed awkward, which was a strange way to describe her but there was no denying it. Whatever she was going to say made her uncomfortable, "Thor."

Nodding slightly, "Sif."

She sighed softly, fingers playing with the hilt of her sword, "I would never have done it." He tilted his head slightly towards her and she roughly threw herself against the balcony, leaning back and crossing her arms over her armor, "You know I can hold a grudge better than anyone in the nine realms but…I still liked the reprobate. I knew he would never betray you, insane or not."

Ah, now it made sense. Thor had approached Loki, still in the dungeons under Asgard, and proposed an alliance to save Jane's life by bringing her to Svartalfheim. Sif had been one of many to threaten death if Loki betrayed him. It was no secret that there was no love lost between Sif and Loki. The loss of her golden hair because of the trickster was one of the few Midgardian stories that had a grain of truth to it, and she was likely never to forgive for it. But, Thor had never worried for Loki when all of them were on their adventures together. In spite of her words, she would have come to his brother's aide in an instant if he truly needed it.

Thor smiled a little, "As much trouble as Loki caused…it was still hard to hate him."

She shook her head with a ghost of a smile, "He's probably laughing his head off in Valhalla right now at us."

Thor's smile slipped a little. He'd been to the entrance to the great hall that granted passage only to the souls who lived and died an honorable life, looking in to see those toasting in the eternal feast and he hadn't seen Loki. It troubled him. Surely his sacrifice would grant him an honorable peace. Surely he wasn't in Hel…or worse, Niflheim.

Swallowing painfully and voice not betraying his thoughts, "Most probably."

She sighed and reluctantly pulled a small bouquet of flowers from her belt. She smelled them and smiled a little, "Wild flowers. His favorite." She nodded to Thor and went off to leave them at the path dedicated to him. He nodded to himself. Each of the Warrior 3 had said similar things, now that Loki was dead. How he wished his brother had heard such things when he was still alive…it might have made all the difference.

In fact, there was quite a bit more sadness than he would have expected. Loki was notorious for his pranks and mischief. He was a troublemaker. He liked causing strife and chaos. But for some reason now even some of the warriors held his memory with nostalgia. As if he had been brilliant and they had secretly enjoyed the jokes, even at their own expense.

He knew that wasn't how Loki had viewed himself.

_I remember a shadow_.

Loki had felt like an outcast. Scorned. Hated. He'd caused mischief to be noticed, not out of fun. Perhaps when he was young it had been for fun, but Thor was growing doubtful of that as well.

For a moment he wished that Hela were here, to talk with her, plead with her to release him but he quickly banished the thought. He could summon her to Asgard by just speaking her name, but his father had forbidden it. The AEsir just weren't comfortable with her. In fact, they had been afraid of her, though Thor never quite understood that. She was a part of Loki, acknowledged by the family as his daughter, and he'd never been afraid of his brother.

If Loki truly was in Hel, there was no chance she would ever let him go. But by the same token, she loved Loki and would make sure he would be happy. He would be a king in Hel. Selfish of her, perhaps, but he felt the same way. They were both a little too possessive of the trickster.

_You come home_.

If he was in Valhalla, then Thor wished him peace. He would be with their mother, and some day in the distant future he and Odin would join them and they would finally be a family again. If he was in Hel…then Thor knew Loki's daughter would make him happy. Closing his eyes, he stilled and just felt the wind rustling across the balcony, wishing it would carry his burdens away.

* * *

MIDGARD

Jane frowned to herself as she studied her calculations. Locations. Triangulation. Star charts. Something was off but she wasn't sure what she was missing. If only she could get the correct data together for the exotic matter she wanted to utilize she might finally be able to create an Einstein-Rosen bridge, a traversable wormhole.

She sighed in frustration and rested her forehead in her hand. It could be the poor quality of her sleep lately but she tried to dismiss it. She'd been having the strangest dreams. Dreams of falling through a black void of nothingness. Dreams of a barren rock with nothing to keep her company but an echo of screams. Dreams of a strange, malignant laugh that made shivers dance up her spine. Those dreams scared her the most.

The figure was gargantuan in its height. No hair from what she can see at a distance. Clad in some time of armor that seemed somehow living and deep grooves carved into a deeply purple face. The eyes would glow a strange, unearthly blue and she would find herself held captive by it. She would try to step towards it from the shadows that hid her, even though all she'd ever want to do is run away, but someone would always be there to block the path and shield her from the creature. They were tall, almost as tall as Thor. Male. But she could never recall the details of who they were, but they would whisper, "Våkne, kjære, og glem." Then the dream would break apart, she waking up screaming.

Ever since she'd been a little girl she'd dreamed of the stars and proving wormholes were real. She was right but she wasn't celebrated. Her work was deemed classified and dangerous. Where was the accomplishment? Where was the validation? Tony believed in her, because he knew about SHIELD and cover ups only too well but it wasn't enough. She was still a laughing stock. Still sneered at and dismissed. Why wasn't she happy?

For the last few years she'd dreamed about Asgard and a man that was more fiction than reality with beautiful sea-blue eyes. She'd found him again. She'd seen Asgard. But for some reason the reality wasn't as perfect and beautiful as she'd imagined. Asgard had been wonderful and breath-taking, but she'd seen the death of a queen and a prince. She'd almost lost her own life…and in the end she'd been led back into her plain old life and left behind.

Where were her dreams now? What is it she wanted now? She didn't know. She knew her research was important and mattered but even after she found the solution, and she knew she would, would she be the one to take those first steps? No. She was the researcher. She was the intellectual but it would be someone else who would be the explorer. And something in her yearned for that to be her. Why couldn't she be both? Why couldn't people see there was more to her than this?

But it was the last dream that scared her the most. She couldn't explain it, but she wouldn't lie to herself and deny it. It was the dream she'd had before, of taking that first brave step back onto the Bi-frost. It had been Thor that would be there to welcome her, strong and smiling down at her. Now it was different. A hand would be there to steady her, to welcome her. She would grip the pale hand, definitely masculine and strong, her eyes following up the armor composed of blacks, greens and golds, to stare into Loki's cautious hazel eyes.

She closed her eyes, the orbs burning from loss of sleep and rested her head more firmly in her palm. She didn't even fight the pull to sleep, slouching down to rest over her work.

_Jane blinked to gaze up at the skies. She smiled slightly. It was Asgard, she was certain, "Beautiful, is it not?"_

_ Turning her head in surprise at the familiar voice, tone slightly sardonic, she blinked at Loki who was lounging next to her, also looking up at the sky. Oh. Murmuring to herself, "…I have the weirdest dreams..." Nodding and seeing that he was doing the same thing in agreement. And the dream goes from weird to weirder, "Yeah. It was even better at night."_

_ He smirked just a little, "Ever the astrophysicist, Jane Foster."_

_ Raising an eyebrow, tone teasing, "I'm surprised you even know the word."_

_ His eyes glinted, obviously as prickly as ever when it came to even joking doubt of his knowledge, "Unlike the whole of Asgard I am not a moron, nor am I incapable of learning your basic concepts of science and terminology since magic is a much more sophisticated departure of your understanding."_

_ Indignant, "Hey, Thor said magic is basically science."_

_ Making a scoffing laugh of a sound, "Yes, I am certain he did. Magic would be equated to science as a marine biologist is to a child owning a fish tank." His eyes glinted dangerously again, "Only my fish were piranhas."_

_ Rolling her eyes with a huff, "You're not scary."_

_ She squeaked when he loomed over her, hands balanced on either side of her rib cage, and snarled down in her face, "No?"_

_ Swallowing and not nearly so sure of herself. She kept reminding herself that this was just a dream but his dangerous presence felt very real. She could feel her heart racing, her mouth drying, "No?"_

_ He lifted an eyebrow and tilted his head just a little, eyes flickering with a destructive curiosity, green sparks on his fingertips as he moved them slowly towards her face, "No?"_

_ Trembling just a little before trying to jerk away and covering her face protectively, "Okay yes, go away."_

_ His smirk turned malicious before he sighed and rolled away from her, onto his back with his arms crossed. She swallowed and scooted away a little, frowning as she looked at him, then away several times. Huffing, "What would your magic have done if it touched me?"_

_ Lifting a hand to study his nails, "Melted your skin off."_

_ She was ready to run, until she heard something that paused her. A tone under the words. She wasn't so sure she believed him, "Really?"_

_ He smirked at her and it was almost sad, "It would have tickled." He went back to watching the clouds._

_ She gaped at him. He was like a kid pushing at the boundaries. Curious. Testing. Needing to see the truth no matter the personal cost. Needing to see if words followed actions. And she had a feeling he'd almost always been let down. He was the Liesmith, and he'd proven everyone else lied to him._

_ Laying back down, "You didn't have to be a jerk about it." He snickered to himself, sharp eyes taking in the floating shapes. She pursed her lips to herself before nodding in decision. Jane pointed, "Boat."_

_ Loki glanced at her, perplexed, "That was a cloud, mortal."_

_ Rolling her eyes as if he was being stupid, "It's a game we play as kids. We look at the clouds for shapes. See? Flower."_

_ Sputtering, "That is absurd! That wasn't a flower."_

_ Shrugging lightly, "My cloud, my rules. I'm also winning, oh so clever one. Tree."_

_ Growling through gritted teeth, eyes searching. He blinked as he watched the cloud that actually did resemble the outline of a house. Pointing, not seeing Jane already watching him and waiting to see if he would play, "House." She smiled a little and waited until he caught up before continuing to play. _

When Jane woke up in the morning she couldn't remember who had won. She woke up with a stiff neck and back from sleeping sitting down. But it didn't matter. All that she knew was she woke up with a large smile on her face.

In an entirely different realm, Loki woke up with the same smile. Such a curious dream. Then it formed a toothy grin, "I won."

* * *

_NOTES:_

**_Wake up, dear one, and forget = Våkne, kjære, og glem_**

_Thank you all for your continued support!_

_I'll update with another chapter in a couple of days :)_

_COMING UP:_

_An old friend of Loki's called Mischief shows up (just guess what's going to happen)_

_Pepper and Jane bond because she needs the female support, dammit._


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

ALFHEIM

Loki stared at the book, his chin resting in his hand. He really wasn't in the mood for this today but he wasn't sure what else he could do. He'd been unusually successful in hunting, enough meat to keep himself well fed for weeks. There was plenty of milk. Indel was sleeping peacefully, thank the Norns. He frowned to himself, realizing he was bored. He blinked in surprise. It had been a good while since he'd been this kind of bored.

He'd been bored in the dungeons, obviously, but all that he could do was play will illusion spells and pace. But now he was free to do as he wished. But what did he want…

"Let's play." Loki glanced slowly to the left to see a boy of perhaps eleven or twelve in stature sitting on the edge of his desk. Dark hair frizzy and wild, green eyes wide and sparkling with excitement, he wore a long sleeved emerald tunic over black breeches and black boots. Bouncing a little in place, "Come on, Loki, let's play."

When he'd been very small, about six in appearance of a human child, he'd been lonely. Well, he'd been lonely for much of his life but he'd discovered that there was one foundation to magic: it had a will of its own. It had been that way when he'd mistakingly created Hela, and it had been the same with this early creation. Mischief. His 'imaginary' friend.

He'd made the servants pull up an extra seat so that 'Mischief' could sit next to him, even though no one had been able to see him thanks to a spell he'd found in the library. His parents indulged him when he said he was going to play in the gardens with his imaginary friend. He'd heard murmurs from Eir and a few of the other healers to his parents that it was just what many children did. Imaginary friends were created until real friends replaced them. What no one knew was that his magic had made Mischief quite real. Not an independent life like Hela, he could only live as long as Loki had magic, but very real in other respects.

He hadn't called on Mischief to play, on purpose or by accident, since he'd been acknowledged a warrior by the court. Not since Hela had left Asgard for Helheim. Sighing softly, "I am too old to play, Mischief."

Mischief rolled his eyes at his adult counterpart, "You made me, stick in the mud, so obviously you're not."

Turning dismissively, "I made you when I was a boy, I am fully grown now."

Jumping lightly off the table, "I know. You were bored. The other warriors wouldn't play with you, so you made someone who could. Aww…he's cute."

Growling softly, "If you wake him I will banish you from the nine realms."

Hands immediately whipped behind his back, tone innocent, "I wasn't going to wake him."

"I am not even going to dignify that with a response."

Mischief stuck out his tongue. He wandered around the room, picking up this and that curiously but always careful to put everything back exactly where he found it. His adult self was very particular about where things went. He was different than the child him. The child him had always been ready to play. The adult him was angry and sad, he needed to be encouraged. Grinning brightly, "We could prank the villagers!"

Loki huffed and rubbed at his forehead, "Why are you here again?"

Mischief leaned against his right side, "Because you're bored and your magic is smarter than you are. You want to play, so come play with me."

"I'm a responsible adult now."

Snickering, resting his chin on his shoulder, "Do you know how stupid you sound when you say that?"

Scowling, "Shut up."

Wrapping both arms around Loki's bicep, pouting, "Loki." Tugging lightly, "You remember being this bored, I know you do. You remember what it feels like to want to do something but you have no idea what. That's when I come in and _show_ you something fun." Loki gave him a considering look and Mischief smiled winningly, "Just some harmless pranks, like when mother finally moved Thor so you could have your own room."

Loki smirked a little, "I could finally sleep at night without waking up to his snoring."

Waving his hand and a little emerald serpent appearing in the palm, "Remember we put snakes in the boar's feast that night?"

Smirk widening, watching the little fantasy serpent fade, "And switched all the ale with vinegar."

"Father was so mad he was turning purple."

Loki let out a startled laugh at that, and marveled at how long it had been since he'd felt an honestly amused emotion about the past not tinged with bitterness. Sighing, "And since I wasn't old enough for any of those spells he couldn't prove it was me."

Mischief smirked, "Except to ban us from the kitchens for a month."

Sighing, a forlorn expression briefly flickering across his face, "I cannot leave Indel alone."

Shrugging, "Have a Loki clone watch him."

Raising an eyebrow because Mischief should already know what would happen if he did that, "Indel hates my clones and cries for hours upon my return."

Mischief winced, "Oh. Right. Guess that's what you get for leaving him behind."

"Indeed."

Shrugging again, "Leave him with Azni."

Raising the other eyebrow, "You want me to give my son to Azni to babysit so that I can prank the village?"

"Sure." The two stared at one another for several moments before identical smirks curled their lips.

* * *

G'dath blinked slowly, watching from a distance as elves were slipping and falling all over one another. She frowned, looking at the ground and not seeing anything out of place. The swears were colorful and the children were giggling. Then she noticed a boy who didn't quite fit in with the others gliding effortlessly, spinning as well as a figure skater. An Asgardian boy if she wasn't mistaken, judging by the clothing, smirking a very familiar smirk over his shoulder. Her eyes narrowed to see a shadow following behind him, gliding just as effortlessly.

She knelt down, studying the ground from a different angle and smirked. Of course. It was as thin as glass and as clear as the summer sky but it was a magic created sheet of ice. She closed her eyes for a moment, pulling at her long forgotten memories of her own childhood as a mischief maker before whispering a few words and tapping the ice with a knuckle.

The ice shattered, the adults were finally able to find their footing, and the two pranksters tumbled to the ground with twin yelps. She looked up and narrowed her eyes at the one that was easily seen, locking eyes with the boy. His own eyes widened before he hastily concealed himself. She could still see an echo of them, the pair of them helping each other up and running for the healing rooms, ducking inside. She slowly shook her head to herself and after a quick scan to make sure everyone was uninjured, silently followed.

She entered the room, briefly glancing over the beds that were undisturbed before narrowing her eyes again. She felt more than saw at least one of them to her right, and the other was tucked into the shadow of the far bed if she wasn't mistaken.

Mischief squeaked as a firm hand found his ear and lightly tugged him to his feet. It didn't exactly hurt but the face that was attached to the hand was very intimidating. G'dath raised an eyebrow and the concealment spell fell, tone holding a hint of steel, "Loki, stop hiding behind the bed." Loki stood up slowly and revealed himself, hands up in a posture of surrender.

"We weren't doing any real harm, G'dath, really. Just a bit of fun."

Turning her gaze back to the boy, "And what if your 'fun' managed to break someone's leg?"

Shrugging before smirking a little, "We'd feel bad?"

She muttered something under her breath that was no doubt rude. Not even Mischief heard it. She sighed, "Where is your son, Loki?"

Eyeing her warily, ready to act if he had to. Mischief may not be real in any sense that most could understand but he was real enough to Loki that he would yank the boy back into the ether if G'dath even considered destroying him, "Azni volunteered to watch him for me."

"And she knows what you were up to?"

He debated the wisdom of ratting out his coconspirator as opposed to lying and concluded that neither prospect was appealing considering he was almost positive G'dath would know if he was lying, "Um…"

Mischief smirked and winked, tone meaning the exact opposite of his words, "Of course not."

G'dath snorted to herself. Of course Azni would let Loki prank the village. She released the created playmate who ran over and hid behind Loki. She gave him an assessing look, surprised by how much life was in his eyes. She smirked, "As I am considered truly adept at magic in the village, if you could refrain from playing in front of my door so that it throws suspicion on me then I would appreciate it."

Mischief peeked from Loki's left, "So we can do more pranks?" He immediately hid again.

She gave them both a considering look. The magic around the boy was old, a playmate created centuries ago, but enough of an independent nature that he was almost a sentient form. An echo of the child Loki had once been. As strange as it sounded, this was actually a step in the right direction of his mind healing and she decided the other elves would just have to get over it, "As long as no one gets hurt." The two shared a conspiring look and G'dath groaned to herself with a sigh, muttering, "…I'm going to regret saying that…"

* * *

MIDGARD

As surprising as it may sound, Jane Foster and Pepper Potts got along famously. Completely opposite women, Jane's more subdued demeanor to Pepper's quiet confidence. The way that they dressed. Their chosen vocations. Still, even with these gaping differences, something between the two of them just clicked. They shared breakfast together during weekdays, exchanging small talk before they both went about their day. On Friday nights Pepper would drag Jane upstairs and they with Tony and Bruce would watch movies and make snarky comments. Well, Tony would make snarky comments about the plot and the actors and by the time the movie was halfway through Jane would be blurting out her own without thinking about it.

"I think I'm losing my mind."

Pepper frowned to herself, carefully sampling her salad. Across from her Jane sat in a rumpled heap. It was midday but Pepper hadn't accepted a decline in her invitation for lunch. Her friend's shirt not pressed was nothing new but she looked tired and that would never do, "Not quite how I pictured this conversation starting."

Tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear, one hand waving while the other held her sandwich, "Ever since I moved to New York I've been having the craziest dreams." One eyebrow carefully raised and Jane blushed, "Not like that."

Pepper blushed in return and shook her head, "I'm sorry, I've been around Tony for far too long. So how are they strange?"

Holding out her hand, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with this."

Putting down her fork, frowning and voice firm, "Jane."

Rubbing her temple after taking a bite, "Some are so crazy, almost like nightmares but…they feel too real. Other times I'm-…it's crazy."

Reaching across the table for her wrist, squeezing gently, "Jane, it's obviously upsetting you. Just tell me."

Nibbling on her lower lip before sighing, "The nightmares are different and strange. Falling into a tunnel of black nothingness. Wandering on a barren rock with screams and strange laughing surrounding me but I can't see anything, I can only smell ash and…blood. Sometimes I don't really remember anything, I just wake up. Screaming."

Pepper pursed her lips thoughtfully even as she shivered. On an instinctive level it frightened her, but she couldn't describe why, "I could arrange some tests or I'm sure I could get a prescription for a sleep aide."

Jane shook her head rapidly before she even realized it, then blushed and mumbled around her sandwich. She glanced back up to see that eyebrow raised again and blushed harder, "I…I don't mind the recent dreams they're just…strange."

A spark of interest in Pepper's eyes, perhaps even a hint of teasing, "Mhmm."

Whining, "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

Smiling a little more serenely, "Absolutely."

Sighing softly and mumbling, "I've been dreaming about Loki." Jane braced herself for screaming. Pepper immediately looked worried and Jane rushed to explain, "He wasn't like-…he was just…" She huffed and collapsed back in the chair, "I can't explain it."

Folding her hands in her lap and giving Jane her complete attention, "Try me."

Staring down at her plate, pushing around a chip with one finger, "I've seen the footage of New York, okay. I know what he did and it's not okay and I know everyone thinks he's evil…but that wasn't the Loki that I knew. And it's not the Loki in my dreams." She glanced up to see that Pepper was still listening, "When Thor took me to Asgard, I met him. Okay so the anger was there. He was arrogant and he was snide and I punched him for it but…he protected me when he didn't have to. He helped Thor save my life…and he died saving Thor." Pepper blinked in surprise, "The Loki in my dreams isn't so angry. He's confused, I think. Lonely. He has a wicked sense of humor when he uses it and he's like a kid with a stick, poking at everything to see what will happen." Laughing at herself and running her fingers through her hair, "What does that say about me that I'm dissecting a figment of my own subconscious as if it weren't really me?"

Pepper smiled gently, "That you're compassionate."

"And insane."

Shrugging with a sigh, "I never met him so I can't honestly say one way or another. I'm biased because Tony was fighting him. And obviously the way that people see him is bothering you or you wouldn't have these dreams."

Groaning, "I have to keep reminding myself he's dead."

The fact that Loki was dead helped Pepper see past her own anger and fear to focus on her friend, "Strangeness aside, are they bad dreams?"

Mumbling, "No."

"Then why do they bother you?"

Whispering, "I shouldn't-…"

"Who says?"

Blinking, "If I told anyone else they would lock me in a padded room."

"Then don't tell anyone else." Smiling serenely once more, "The Jane Foster that I know has never let popular opinion sway her on anything else. If these dreams with him as the starring role are a good thing, then screw what the rest of the world has to say." Jane laughed before slapping a hand over her mouth, "Better?"

Grinning, "Better."

"Good. After brunch we're going shopping."

"Oh, no, I have to-…"

"Jane." Jane stiffened at that no nonsense tone, "We're going shopping. You've spent every waking hour in that lab, you are taking the afternoon off and I'm going to make sure you do."

Her breath rushing out of her in awe, "I can see why Tony stops arguing with you once your mind is made up."

A small smile curled her lip, "You'd better believe it."

* * *

_NOTES:_

_Love and kisses to everyone who leaves me messages._

_UP NEXT:_

_Fast forward one year from Loki's perspective._

_Indel is still cute, Loki is starting to remember, and Jane's dreams turn dangerous_


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

ALFHEIM

Loki smiled with a deft tilt of his head, thankfully taking what Azni could offer in exchange for his services. Out of anyone, she always gave him the most practical 'currency', in this case a small wooden toy for Indel to play with. As soon as the villagers had learned his proficiency with spell work he found they were all eager to offer him payment for his abilities. And they had all quickly discovered that the best bribe to give him were books. Wonderful, interesting, glorious books. History. Folklore. Poetry. All of the best light elf authors. Forgotten tomes that analyzed and delved into the craftsmanship abilities of the dwarves. Battle strategies. Forgotten weapons and long lost races. And then of course, anything and everything to do with magic. Spells. Potions. Scepters and daggers forged by it. Tyrants felled by it.

He'd accumulated so many books by now he'd added a modest library to the cottage, filled from floor to ceiling with shelves for them all. He been working diligently under G'dath for a year and a half now, learning from her but this was light work outside of his apprentice duties. Something as simple as fixing a door to as complex as reinforcing the armor in the guard's uniforms. He found himself quite content by it.

Here he wasn't a prince or even a noble who had the weight and responsibilities of maintaining the family honor. Nor was he the Liesmith, the God of Chaos, or the trickster. He performed pranks, of course, but his goal was to enjoy them without getting caught. He was just 'Lokhi', a simple light elf who kept to himself and raised his child. No aspiration to come into power. The highest authority here was the town elder and looking after Indel was enough of a headache without having to tend to an entire village. He honestly couldn't imagine how his mother had been queen and mother.

"Dada! Dada!"

A wide grin spread across his face. It did every time Indel called him that. He felt more important and powerful from that title than he ever had as a prince. Just a toddler with a shock of white hair that curled at the ends, but he'd started talking early and that was one of his two favorite words.

"Up! Up."

And that would be the other one. He scooped Indel up, shooing the small verins who ran back into the garden now that Indel wasn't enticing them with small roots. Such a small boy, but Loki knew he was going to grow into a powerful mage like himself. His magic could sense the magic in Indel, different than his own and yet the same.

With a wicked gleam in his eyes he tossed his boy carefully in the air. Just a few inches, and caught him as he squealed happily, "Gain!" Lifting his eyebrow, he obeyed once more before tucking him against his side, chuckling when mischievous fingers found a lank of ebony hair and playfully tugged.

"Ouch."

Indel clapped and let go, the ritual greeting game complete. Slender fingers danced lightly along the boys ribs, Loki smirking as peals of laughter responded before the elfling tried to bend over backwards to escape, knowing he wouldn't be dropped. Finally the demi-god relented, smoothing down the soft curls in Indel's white hair. It was curious. He'd never seen an elf with naturally curly hair. It was remarkably similar to his own if he left it to dry naturally.

His son had managed in less than two years what Asgard hadn't been able to in a 1000. He'd been tamed, now as clawless as a domesticated house cat. Well, perhaps that assessment wasn't quite right since his temper hadn't changed and he would never set aside his silver tongue. But he'd certainly been broken in for hugs and kisses, for tickles and stories. He changed his shape for his son's amusement, played with him as often as possible, and was not opposed to cuddling with his boy at night when Indel decided his bed was scary.

Indel giggled, then sneezed, and three neon butterflies popped into existence. Loki watched with amusement as they fluttered about the boy's head, one of them landing on his nose. Indel babbled and tried to catch it, the spelled creation disintegrating into a sprinkle of blue dust. The elfling pouted and Loki opened his palm, a green butterfly appearing in his palm. The boy squealed happily and reached for it, the fantasy creature ducking and evading his grip with the skill of a hawk.

"Lokhi."

Loki turned and raised his hand in greeting, closing the gate to Azni's garden behind him, "Elder Trax."

Trax paused to give him a glare before shaking his head, "Just Trax, Lokhi."

Shrugging lightly, mentally grinning with mischief, "I see nothing wrong in acknowledging a title you earned."

Sighing before smiling at his boy, "Hello, Indel."

Indel's thumb slowly inched up towards his mouth. Loki reached up to stop the thumb, whispering gently, "Indel, what do we say?"

Those wide green eyes darted to his own before whispering softly, "'ello." Loki inclined his head a little towards Trax who was patiently quiet. It was well known Indel was extremely shy. The toddler pulled in a big courageous breath before blurting out 'hello' and hiding his face against Loki's neck.

Loki smiled and patted his back, shifting him slightly so his arms could wrap around his neck, "What do you require of me, Elder Trax?"

Trax rolled his eyes and Loki bit the end of his tongue to keep from childishly sticking it out, "I…I do not wish to pry, Lokhi, but have you ever been to any of the other realms?"

Loki felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. No one had ever questioned his vague responses as to his origins and it wasn't as if Trax were outright asking him if he was a fraud but the question still made him cautious. He was a masterful liar and he had no problem teaching Indel to be exactly like him in that regard. At the same time, right now Indel was too young to understand the game and too much conflicting information would only confuse him. Keeping in mind that Indel was right there and being intentionally vague, "My voyages were few and far between but I have visited a few. Why if I may ask?"

An invisible, building tension seemed to fade. It wasn't between himself and Trax, it was outside of that. He couldn't explain it, but it was almost as if this were a test from an outside source. Such a curious feeling, "I was wondering if you might take a look at this."

Feigning nonchalance and silently building his magical stores just in case, he followed Trax into the community room to a series of scrolls and parchments spread out on a worktable. On the wall were very carefully maintained star charts with constellations and the world tree drawn in by freehand. Putting Indel on the floor near the table and handing him a toy to play with, he skipped over the scrolls to look over the map.

His eyes silently charted the dark paths he could follow to hop from realm to realm and even planet to planet. He was the only one that Yggdrasil had taught the winding branches that time had forgotten. There was quite a large path that would take him from here to Midgard directly in front of his house…then he frowned. There were several small planets missing in different realms and he glanced over his shoulder to see Trax nodding silently, "We do not know why, but whole planets are disappearing, as are some of the moons…none of the realms are threatened as of yet, but can you think of anything you have ever seen that could cause that?"

Pursing his lips, tapping them with two fingers and thinking carefully. There were several reasons. One planet gone could be a singularity or black hole. He'd seen plenty of creatures capable of creating such technology. A series in the same realm a supernova and since no race had ever wanted to destroy themselves along with their enemy, those had always been natural phenomenon. This many in several different realms was something else, but he was hesitant to consider it a reality.

"What is the pattern?" Trax looked confused and Loki sighed, realizing Trax may have the map but he wasn't the one who put it together. As pleasant a man as Trax was, he wasn't overtly smart and it was tiring, "When did each orb disappear?"

Confusion clearing, "Oh, uh…" He rifled through the parchments before picking up a few and started rattling off places and times. With each one Loki would highlight a specific color next to where the planet used to be. He took a step back and felt his breath catch. Trax came up next to him and hissed, "You don't think…"

The color coding made it painfully obvious. It was random and circular in the beginning but the course now was direct. They were coming here. He could think of one race that could do it…and one creature that commanded them, "Perhaps the realms have gone to war?"

Trax frowned a little, eyes reflecting a disappointment that somehow Loki felt he was responsible for, "Perhaps."

The AEsir had a word for it. A world eater. But there was no common language word for it. If he said it, it would lend suspicion to who he was and he didn't owe anyone on this planet enough to allow them to discover the former Loki of Asgard was still alive. It was bad enough he and Indel were going to lose their safe haven in a short amount of time. It would be even worse if Asgard or Thanos had confirmation of his whereabouts before he was ready to disappear for a few centuries. Spinning on his heels and reaching down for Indel, something else occurred to him and he sighed, "You might also try to reach out to Asgard."

"Oh?"

Ignoring what had almost sounded like hope in Trax's voice. If a world eater was truly coming here, this planet was doomed and that hope a fool's dream, "The Bi-frost if used maliciously can wipe out whole planets. Perhaps they know something." He teleported away before Trax could make a reply.

* * *

Loki looked around the healing room in surprise, not even consciously deciding to come here. But Indel was wiggling excitedly so he gave into the hint. He put Indel down, his son toddling up to G'dath with a happy grin. The elf bent down and hoisted him into the air, grinning when the boy squealed excitedly. She sent him a questioning look, settling the elfling on her hip. It wasn't time for the boy's checkup and the father didn't look ill.

"I had a question…and as you seem to be the most educated person here I thought you might have the answer."

She smirked just a little, "Hmm…fluffy flattery before the request, interesting."

He huffed a little and sat down in one of the visitor's chairs as she diverted her attention to Indel, whispering to him before sending him to the small play area in the corner. She took a neighboring chair and leaned back to get comfortable. Long minutes passed, a peaceful silence between them and then suddenly he knew what he wanted to know, "You called me a changeling, once."

Expression thoughtful, "I did."

Frowning, "Why? I am a mage so I use spells to change my form when I wish. And there is a glamor on me cast by the All-Father to appear AEsir."

She could see there was a reason for the question. A reason that was at the very edge of his conscious thought and she worried what memory was hiding from him with the answer. But he was strong, stronger than even he knew, "Would you say that you can change your form easily?"

Loki shrugged, "Yes, but I usually master spells quickly."

G'dath thought to herself before changing tactics, "How did you discover you were Jötunn?"

Blinking at the sudden switch of topics, "I-I was touched by a Frost Giant in battle." Narrowing his eyes a little, "Why?"

Raising an eyebrow at him, "You should know by now my questions lead to the answer."

Raising his own eyebrow back at her, "I also know that your questions sometimes lead nowhere except to your weak attempts to humiliate me."

Her lip quirked, "True, but this is not one of those times. If you will indulge me a little longer?"

Sighing and waving his hand, 'Very well, this will be my attempt at indulging you."

"My humblest thanks, kind sir." He scowled at her and her lip quirked, "The Jötunn touching you...it did not burn."

He flinched just a little at the memory. A memory painful enough that it had started his madness induced rage. Adopted. Brought home like a war trophy and not even told all this time that the reason he could never measure up to Thor wasn't even his fault. He was the weakling son of an enemy, not even the same species as his once-family, born to be a monster, "No…it turned my arm…blue."

"And then with the touch gone the blue faded."

Flexing his right arm and looking down, almost surprised it didn't change, "Yes."

Forcing her features to soften, just enough that the almost invisible tension in his shoulders eased, "I have no doubt that your father put spells on you to ensure your AEsir appearance, but such spells are countermanded whenever you change shape with another spell."

Surprised, "You are correct."

"Your father found you in Jötunheim, yes?"

"Yes, and changed me to look AEsir before taking me h-to Asgard."

"As an infant?" Loki slowly nodded. She paused for a moment but kept her tone calm and even, "You do realize those appearance spells do not work on infants with their own magic." Loki paled. He had forgotten. How could he forget something so basic? But with that realization came the other that was even more distressing, "I would suspect with one touch you changed yourself to appear AEsir and that is what made your father decide to take you home. I also suspect that when you heal in battle, it is not magic spells that heal you but your ability to reknit damaged tissue."

Shaking his head, "I cannot be a changeling."

Eyebrow quirking, "Why not?"

"I-…" He winced and his hand pressed against his abdomen. G'dath frowned, hands moving to weave a spell but his hand caught her wrist, "No." His voice was rough even if his hold wasn't. He released her with a softer 'no'. She tilted her head a little inquiringly but he shook his head and stood up, collecting Indel. He couldn't think of it, not now, "Thank you, G'dath."

She said nothing as he left, hands folded in her lap and lips pressed together. It was the first time since she'd met him that he'd seemed hollowed out and fragile. Grief and pain were dancing in his eyes, the source he wasn't even aware of yet. She'd seen it before. She'd lived long enough to see a terrible war that an entire generation had that kind of pain suppressed. But no matter how devastating, those kinds of memories never stay buried forever. Tonight he would remember whatever he'd forced himself to forget, she was positive.

* * *

MIDGARD

_Jane silently studied her reflection in the mirror. The gown hugged her curves and flowed to the floor like spilled moonlight. Her caramel locks were wrapped in loosely curled tendrils and held in place by gems that winked and sparkled in the candlelight. She touched the delicate band of diamonds that hung around her neck and paused to stare at the band of silver and gold on her left finger._

_ She was married?_

_ Turning with grace, hand automatically grasping the dress to keep it out of the way, she flowed across the stone floor with an assurance that she'd never had a day in her life._

_ Am I dreaming?_

_ The doors opened for her and she felt her breath catch in her throat. Asgard. Of course. But there was something strange. The table to the great hall overflowed with food and drink, but it was empty. She walked along the table, noticing that there were pieces of armor and weapons left behind, but nothing more. Turning towards the high table, Odin's seat was empty with only his scepter leaning against the chair. The queen's seat held nothing and no food was before it. To the right of her spot, two chairs where her children would sit. Thor's seat was empty with Mjolnir resting there but the farthest seat, Loki's seat, held a small dark-haired boy of perhaps six with bright green eyes._

_ But while he bore a strong resemblance to Loki but his skin tone was more golden than his pale peach. He grinned shyly and ducked his head, sliding out of his chair and slipping away with a shower of giggles. Jane blinked and started forward, "Wait!"_

_ He paused at the balcony, turning to wink before disappearing outside, a trail of sparkling golden dust left behind. She didn't even think, running after him and pausing to gasp in horror. Dead. They were all dead. They were felled where they stood as if none of them had time to react. Odin. Thor. Sif. Bodies thrown along the grounds, bloody and broken. Skin drying like November leaves in the sun. Death. Decay._

_ She turned away from the sight, feeling her insides turn to liquid and what was left of her stomach threatening to rebel, "Jane?" She felt him come up behind her and felt her body shiver. Fear. For the first time in a while she was actually afraid of him. Something about the way he spoke her name. A hint of malevolent cruelty. His cool breath whispered in his ear, "You didn't really think you could save him, did you?" Wrong voice. She whipped around, startled to see Loki's face, but those strangely colored blue eyes from her other nightmares. She remembered them. The image of Loki shattered like glass, leaving behind the figure with deep grey skin that was almost purple. Who was he-what was he? "I see why he protected you from me, little mortal."_

_ He shoved her and she went flying back into a stone pillar, gasping in pain as this creature towered over her, "Who are you?"_

_ Smiling cruelly, "I am beyond your comprehension. I am infinite and absolute power. I will cause your skies to rain blood when I have decided you will be permitted to die at my feet as a tribute to death. I am Thanos, you disgusting mortal."_

_He just grew taller and taller, towering above her by at least an extra five feet. Just a dream. This is just a dream. Eyes flashing amber defiantly, "What do you want?"_

_His tone was so casual she shivered, "Such a simplistic, inane question. So predictable. I want death. Every life that I take and offer is one step closer to my lady death. And very soon, I will earn her favor when I topple the nine realms into nothingness." He was absolutely insane and she shuddered. With a single finger of his gloved hand he stroked her chin and mockingly laughed when she jerked away from his touch, "And I shall tell you who you are. You are a perversity, distorted by my infinity gem…you are nothing."_

_What the hell was an infinity gem? The Aether?_

_His huge, single hand wrapped around her neck entirely and squeezed. Jane's eyes flew open in shock, the pain and suffocation too real, hands scrambling to beat against the clenching hand, legs kicking as he pushed her higher up on the column until he was supporting all her weight with her neck. She didn't have the ability to scream. And the longer he strangled her, the weaker her struggles. _

_She choked and gasped for air she couldn't take in. Pain. Fear. She was going to die. He was going to kill her in her sleep and no one would ever be the wiser. No._

_NO._

_He laughed maniacally and squeezed just that much harder, Jane seeing stars burst in front of her eyes as her struggles weakened. She had a handful of breaths left, her heart pounding so hard against her ribs she felt her chest bruising and she panicked, one name burning through her throat._

"_Loki…help…"_

_ His hand suddenly released from her neck, grunting as he went flying past her to slam into the wall. Jane crumpled to the ground and coughed violently, holding her aching neck and unable to stand. Thanos turned to snarl as the little six year old with green eyes came up to her side and stared the other down coldly. The child's eyes flashed gold, "You have no right to trespass here and I cast you out, never to return."_

_ Growling as he stood back up. He __**knew**__ Loki was still alive. Such a pathetically clever trickster, "You have not the capability, Jötunn runt. You are nothing but a weak-…"_

_ Smirking, "I am his magic, foolish Titan, not the man himself. I am all things and nothing. Yggdrasil will not allow your mad love of death to destroy the foundation of life."_

_Losing all semblance of eloquence in his rage, "Yggdrasil is not sentient! Who are you?"_

_A childish laugh, loud and clear that blended with other voices. Young and old. Male and female. Those green eyes glowed a brilliant gold, "Such a silly creature…I am as sentient as any of my children are. There is much I am capable of…ironic that the man you look down on understands more than you."_

_A gesture and Thanos turned into a puddle, screaming before vanishing. Those green eyes turned to Jane and held her captive, her hand slowly slipping from around her neck. He slowly smiled and the familiarity of it shocked her. That was her father's smile. Why would Loki as a child have her father's smile?_

_Her heart gave a painful thud. She knew. She couldn't even think it but she suddenly knew who this little boy was. Her right hand moved to her left, fingers smoothing over the band there. He nodded once, "I cannot hide Thanos from your memories anymore, dear one, but you will be protected. You will not remember this now, but you will with time. It is for you to decide, Jane. His life is in your hands…as all are in his…"_

Jane gasped and jerked awake, blinking and staring at the ceiling with a slow frown before touching her forehead as the memories turned to golden dust and the words faded from her mind. She swallowed and winced before freezing. But she remembered something and she ran to a mirror, gasping to see large bruises forming around her neck. Not even with both hands could this have been her choking herself. Her heart stuttered in her chest as a name tumbled past trembling lips, "Thanos."

She would not forget that name. She closed her eyes and ducked her head down to calm her breathing, laying her hands flat on the dresser as she breathed slowly in and out. Opening her eyes, she frowned as she glanced at her left hand. Something was missing but she didn't know what. There was nothing in her memory. All that was left was a sense of longing as she glanced at the bare expanse on the ring finger of her left hand.

* * *

_NOTES: _

_Not to worry, I am not going to turn Loki into something soft and squishy (maybe just a little bit) but he will keep his snark and sass. He just wouldn't be Loki without it._

_In case anyone missed it, it's been 1 1/2 years for Loki, about 2 1/2 months for everyone else (which will be stated in the next chapter)._

_Again a big thanks to everyone for reviewing._

_COMING UP:_

_We see how Odin and Thor have been._


	16. Chapter 15

**WARNING: I try not to be graphic but there are mentions of torture and mpreg in this chapter. I will warn again at the appropriate section, feel free to skip but don't flame, you were warned.**

* * *

Chapter 15

ASGARD

Odin walked quietly out of the palace and stopped to gaze down the three paths before him. The main path that led into the villages still held flower tributes to his dear wife and he allowed himself a weary sigh. Death was never easy, but her death was even harder. The woman and wife that had been by his side for thousands of years. As seriously as he took his duty, she knew how much he loved her. At the time, he had meant it. He would let rivers of blood flow to avenge her, but now he realized the price of such a statement and his eyes moved to the Bi-frost path.

His youngest, not by blood but by choice, had been the price for such blind arrogance and it made him realize that perhaps Thor had been right, he was becoming a foolish old man. He had always been a better king than a father, but when his temper ruled him he made devastating mistakes. So focused on anger. So focused on revenge, he had failed to protect what he held most dear. It was turning out alright in the end, the few times he had looked in on Loki showing him that his son's heart was mending but still…it could have been a tragic ending if not for little Indel.

Loki's rage had turned into a living thing. A rage terrible enough to destroy worlds and deep enough to nearly tear their family apart. He was thankful more than ever for Frigga and Thor, who could help Loki to temper that violent storm. Odin had known from the start that his youngest didn't trust him, hadn't trusted him in centuries but he couldn't place when it had started to fall apart. But Odin knew Thor, no matter what he said, would never be able to give up on Loki. And even to the day she died, Loki had loved his mother wholly and completely in spite of his words.

He walked the path to the Bi-frost, seeing that the flowers left in remembrance of Loki had increased since the day his death was announced. Two and a half months to everyone else in the universe and Asgard's grief had not abated. Another regret. He was not blind to the feelings and reactions of the court and nobles, but he was also very aware of how much his son was loved by the commoners of the realm. He had, however, been blind to Loki's misery. Was his son even aware of that love?

"Sire, I have not been able to perceive an area of Alfheim for some time."

Odin nodded slightly to himself. Heimdall served him and his family faithfully, and would instantly lay down his life if it were asked of him. One of the finest, most noble of warriors who could see and perceive the world tree with his golden eyes. This was one Asgardian Odin offered nothing except truth, his loyalty to Asgard unshakeable, "Yes, a small moon I believe." And because this was a man who would keep to his own counsel, did he speak of the moon that sheltered his youngest, "It is a rather remarkable sphere. A very small population but time moves so much more quickly there. Indeed, a few years there would be but perhaps a year here."

"I also perceive a danger drawing near."

Odin had as well. It was subtle, but a recent missive from Alfheim left him no doubt that something drew near. A world eater, "As do I, but we must give as much time as possible. Only through growth can change occur."

"I have seen this magic before."

The only magician that had been able to cloak himself from Heimdall's sight. A trickster in the truest sense, "Yes, you have." Odin knew of Heimdall's dream. It was hard not to when one took the time to listen. He still remembered a very small trickster sitting at the gatekeeper's feet, listening attentively to tales about the worlds and the stars, "He left this world the first time a petulant child and an arrogant fool." As had Thor, and look how much his eldest had changed and grown in such a short amount of time, "The second time he was truly lost…" Grief stricken and broken from his mother's death. In pain and fearful of being recaptured and tortured, "…but now he has a man's responsibilities on his shoulders and he is holding the burden. You must have faith that I know what is truly needed."

"Always, my king."

And because Heimdall did have faith, "Both of our dreams may still come to pass, Heimdall. I may still live to see both my sons happy and whole once more…and you may still see a glorious Asgard ruled by not just one, but two worthy kings."

* * *

Thor drank from the goblet to his right and picked at the meat on his plate. He couldn't remember the occasion for this particular feast and he found he didn't really care. He'd grown apathetic to a lot of matters that he used to find such joy in. Everything that he did now reminded him of Loki, or reminded him of his absence. The only times he wasn't reminded were when he was in the training yard so he spent endless hours there every day, hoping to sweat out his grief and break his heart of this stagnant state.

But during meals he would look to his right and expect to see Loki sitting quietly next to him, smirking to himself as his grey-green eyes studied and calculated. He wasn't much of a conversationalist at meal time and even less so at feasts, but he was always observing.

Every evening when Thor retired to his rooms he had to resist the urge to go into the neighboring room next to his own. The one that had been Loki's for almost a thousand years. He'd ordered the servants to keep it clean but locked, no one allowed to enter or remove any of his brother's possessions. His father had surprised him by silently nodding in agreement.

Horseback riding.

The library.

The special balcony that they had discovered near the highest point of the palace.

"Fandral the Dashing!"

Thor looked up, "Aye! Fandral, regale us with a tale of the warriors 3."

"Aye!"

"And Sif."

"And Thor!"

A chorus of 'Thor' filled the large room and Thor nodded slightly to them all in thanks, raising his glass a little off the table. Fandral grinned to himself, stroking down his mustache with two fingers as he considered, "Hm…well, I could regale you with tales of wine, women, and dancing…"

"Nay!"

"We need an adventure!"

Polishing off his hands of bread crumbs, standing and putting his foot on the chair seat, leaning in, "Then allow me to tell the tale of how the six of us defeated the immortals of Vanaheim."

"And who is the sixth warrior of this tale?

"Aye!"

Fandral looked genuinely surprised. The tale had been told a hundred times by now, the adventure itself more than two hundred years old, "Prince Loki, of course."

"Aick, not a trickster's tale!"

"Aye, we need a warrior's tale and more mead-…"

There were times when fury had to be expressed but he had not the words and he never would. He was a man of action and he wasn't even aware of that action until the table in front of him was overturned and he was standing with dangerous anger in his eyes. They were all quiet, even his father who was sitting at the high table and rarely stayed so long into the feast, "My brother was a warrior, and I will kill any man who ever says differently. Any of you who are here tonight who have heard a tale of Thor, it was Loki's tale as well for he was always there. Thor, Sif, the warriors 3…and Loki. He was my shield brother. My brother. And any man that disparage his memory make a mockery of a man worthy of Valhalla." Thor left, having more than his fill of their company for the evening.

* * *

Thor stared out at the night sky with his arms crossed. The boy that had dragged his brother and friends to Jötunheim had been prone to raging and upturning tables in fits of anger. He wasn't that boy anymore but sometimes the habits of a lifetime were difficult to break. He was the first born son of a king and sometime soon he would be king himself. His broad shoulders slumped almost imperceptively. He wasn't ready. With Loki at his side he had felt ready, because his brother would have been the one to best advise him.

But then everything had gone to Hel and he'd lost almost everything. He blinked with the realization that he didn't want to be king. It was an obligation, now. A duty. A burden. If it came down to a choice of having Frigga and Loki back at the cost of the throne he'd gladly give it. He almost sighed when his door opened. But he knew who it was without turning, "I apologize for this evening."

Odin said nothing as he crossed the distance and joined him on the balcony, face unreadable. He knew if Thor realized Loki was alive, nothing would stop him from going to his brother's side, which would do nothing but hinder his youngest's development. But he hated seeing his eldest in such pain.

"It is unbecoming behavior of a future king…but these have been trying times, and tempers are easily frayed as of late."

Clenching a fist, "They would dare to insult his memory…"

"You have to stop fighting your brother's battles, Thor."

Thor took no notice of his father using the present tense, "If I had stood up to shield him sooner none of this would have happened."

Odin simply couldn't understand why his eldest continued to think of his brother as nothing more than a misbehaving child who needed to be taken in hand, "Thor. Your brother is not helpless. He never was. Nor is he a child that requires your guiding hand."

"Yet he doubted we ever loved him, does that not say anything to you?" Odin blinked slowly, frowning slightly, "Never has the house of Odin stood as a united front. Asgard looked to Loki as tolerated by you…and I was just as guilty in forgetting his value to me."

Stunned and privately horrified, "Tolerated?" In court he had never shown favoritism. Had he? Contests and feats of strength were held and rewards were merited. Is it his fault that Thor had always won at those contests? Both of his sons were given placement at the high table, as only an acknowledged child of the king would be given. Both of his children had received the best in training, the same sized rooms, the same expenses for clothing and armor. They were given their pick of weapons, Loki had simply preferred throwing knives and handheld blades…

He blinked to himself, his blue eye landing on Mjolnir. No, he had forgotten something…and it troubled him greatly. After acknowledgement of their warrior status, a prince or princess is given several symbols over the years to show their worth of succession. Armor. Helmet. Weapon. How could he have forgotten such an important rite of passage for Loki? Even knowing that as the eldest lest Thor prove incompetent the throne would be his, his youngest should still have received his just due. Every AEsir knew the symbols of a prince's worth, that he would not receive a weapon would have been perceived by the court as validation that Loki was not worthy of the throne.

This was his fault.

Loki was fully grown and capable of deciding the course of his life but he was the catalyst.

Snarling and oblivious to his father's inner turmoil, "I was hardly blameless of faults as a child, but what punishments I received were behind closed doors-Loki was punished before the court. He became a mockery to them, the less favored son."

Sighing, "Because he never failed to involve half of Asgard in his mischief." It was just an excuse, and he knew it as soon as he uttered it. He'd never known quite how to control Loki, his mischief taking an ominous turn as he grew older. And the harder that he tried, the more sly and slippery Loki had grown.

Thor knew only too well of Loki's years after he'd been declared a warrior. Rebellion festered hotly in his brother's blood for centuries.

_"Brother, why?" Loki smirked a little, arms crossed as he stared out at the training yards, "You are forcing father into this position, Loki. He would not react so harshly-…_

_ A single digit was raised and wagged back and forth, "Stop asking questions you do not wish answered, Thor."_

_ Thor flinched a little, well used to his brother displaying a bit of his power in warning and seeing it's utter lack hurting him, "Loki?"_

_ Loki glanced at him over his shoulder and sighed, "Perhaps you should go train with the others."_

_ "But you are to be confined for a whole month! I do not wish to leave you alone."_

_ Raising an amused eyebrow, but the eyes hiding pain and exhaustion, "So you intend to stay with me the entire time? Indoors? Idle and reading books?"_

_ Thor was already dancing from foot to foot before looking guiltily at him, "I'm sorry, Loki."_

_ Shrugging lightly, the shoulders too tense for the movement to be casual, "The month will pass quickly. Better than having to muck stables for a week by hand." Waving a hand at him and smirk strained, "Go. Training is more your pastime than mine."_

_ Thor grinned and reached out to squeeze the back of his brother's neck, oblivious to the tension under his palm. Not seeing anything wrong, "I'll be back to visit soon." The thunderer gave a second wave before he walked out the doors, the wood closing behind him. Loki sighed in relief as soon as he was gone, idly scratching at the golden bands biting into his wrists, cutting off his magic. It was like someone had reached in and yanked his soul out, leaving him hollow and dead._

_ He couldn't use magic, but he could still write runes and after pushing his work table back he made a small circle of them before sitting in the center. It was more than exhaustion as he sat down heavily. He felt like the years that he'd lived, all 412 of them, were stacking on top of his body. He wouldn't live a month like this. It wasn't that he was being melodramatic, instinctively he knew what Odin didn't. Being deprived of his magic was slowly killing him._

_Although he was quite certain father wouldn't care even if he tried to explain it. What was good for Asgard would always be more important than what was good for Loki. He curled into a ball as he felt the world slip away, suddenly someplace dark and dangerous. But he was safe, and smiled weakly as a young girl walked up to him swiftly. Her face was always so carefully blank in public, but her green eyes held concern, "Father?"_

"_Hela…" _

_She would free him of these damned constraints._

_She would protect him._

_His daughter cared._

Thor turned away, staring at the distant mountains. He wasn't a man of words and he didn't have enough of them to argue his point. Unknowingly they were both thinking of the times when Loki's magic would be bound before the court, but only Thor knew of after. Because he had returned from the training yards to find no Loki, just the runes drawn into his floor. He'd never said a word to anyone, merely setting up a vigile in the shadows until Loki finally did return looking tired and drawn. The bracelets placed carelessly on his work desk, he would stumble to his bed to sleep. A day. A month. However long the punishment was announced Loki would stay quietly in his rooms and on the day when he was to return to the court to be released he would put back on the bracelets. He'd never asked his brother why, but he was starting to think he should have.

What Thor had no knowledge of was the last time that Odin had ever attempted to stifle Loki's magic in punishment. He couldn't remember the reason he'd been walking down his children's wing, just that he'd passed by Thor's door, his eldest at the training yard, and paused at his youngest's who was practicing spells in a book. Green magic drifted like smoke around his fingers, sparkling as it moved and conformed into different shapes with each word.

_Loki turned and bowed his head slightly, "All-Father."_

_ Odin frowned to himself sternly, voice booming, "How have you done this, Loki? You were not to have your magic unbound until the morrow."_

_ His entire body stiffening before pressing his lips together in an angry line for several seconds. When he did speak it was tightly controlled, head bowed so Odin couldn't see the insolent fury flashing there, "Your scribe has marked your calendar incorrectly or else you have forgotten, yesterday was to be my release."_

_ Clasping his hands behind his back, shoulders straightening in displeasure and ignoring the possibility that he was wrong, "So you have decided to defy me?"_

_ The quiet reply ripped him with shock, "No, sire, my daughter has freed me. And since you have now proven your own words and edicts false, she has promised that the next time I go to her for aide she will not release me to you again." Then those grey-green eyes looked up at him, pierced through him, "Less you choose to cast me out of Asgard, you will have to discover a different way to give the court pleasure with my pain."_

What Thor was saying had been a nagging thought at the back of Odin's mind for some time. Yes, Loki being punished away from the court might have made him look weaker as a king…but was that worth the doubt of Loki's own worth that followed? Yet more mistakes and regrets. He understood what his son was trying to say, but for Loki's sake he had to continue to play his part as if his youngest were dead and this argument were pointless.

Tone authoritative, "Thor, you need to do more than wander the grounds."

"I train, father."

Nodding slowly, "I know that you do…you need a purpose. Perhaps an inquiry as to the state of Midgard is in order."

Shaking his head after a moment, "I cannot go there yet, not unless there was peril. Has Heimdall seen something?"

"Not as of yet."

"And the Bi-frost?"

"The repairs are completed and will be announced in a week's time."

All that Thor could think is that those repairs would have gone so much more smoothly if Loki had been in charge of them. His brilliant, innovative brother. But he didn't voice it. But it was giving him an idea. Perhaps a visit to another realm was in order once the opening of the Bi-frost was common knowledge. Nodding slowly, "Then I will tour our borders with Sif and the Warriors 3 until then."

* * *

OUTSIDE THE NINE REALMS

"I am displeased, elf."

Malekith stiffened but didn't voice the outrage, choking on it instead. He had once been a king of the dark elves and the most powerful mage in the nine realms. But that was a long time ago, and there were so few left it no longer mattered. His world was dying and his few remaining people scattered to the four winds. And even though he and Thanos worked towards a common goal of toppling the nine realms back into darkness, he didn't doubt that Thanos wouldn't offer him up as tribute to death for retorting. So long as Thanos controlled the Infinity Gems in his possession, Malekith would do his bidding…until favor turned in his direction.

Thanos, the mad Titan as he was called, was quite powerful. Powerful enough with his intellect and technology to return Malekith's limbs to him and snatch him away from death moments before it happened. Powerful enough to hold telepathic sway over the legions that swarmed around them. This was not a creature to underestimate.

Loki of Jötunheim…how could he not have realized it was him? He was certainly not the same, broken creature in the clutches of the Other. Vicious and conniving...but still so breakable, "The loss of the runt is a minor setback-…"

Raising a hand slightly, dismissive for now, "The Jötunn runt is of no consequence, dead or alive. All that matters to me is the infinity stone that you lost to Asgard."

The need of revenge burned like an ember in Malekith's chest but he focused himself in a different direction for now. Thor would pay in blood and all of Asgard with him, "A minor problem but now yet another stone is in one place within your grasp. The mortal that joined with the Aether still lives. She could still be useful." That she lived so long with the Aether inside of her was intriguing.

Growling a deep rumble of anger. Her mind was not more powerful than his, and certainly not with the modifications in his helmet to amplify his telepathy. Something magical was preventing him, protecting her, and it stank of the trickster prince, "I am aware, but something helps her mind to elude me. Now I can merely sense her, her mind occluded to my influence."

"Our forces-…"

"Our?"

Smoothly correcting himself, "Your forces gather. The Chitauri swarm grow near to Midgard and will soon destroy it."

"Good. How long?"

Easily calculating and wondering if Thanos truly didn't know or was simply toying with him, "Without a direct portal they make for the dark passage of Alfheim, a matter of months, but your goal will soon be within sight."

Speaking quickly, eagerly, "And the Mind Gem, has the Other discovered where the mortals have secreted it?"

Personally Malekith thought Thanos had been an idiotic fool for giving it to Loki in the first place but he held his tongue. The Jötunn runt had barely been cognizant enough to follow the Other's plan, which had been weak in his opinion. And that Thanos had put so much trust in it he just gave the Mind Gem for Loki to utilize to subdue a few human minions, rampant stupidity. But it wasn't yet time for him to express his true feelings concerning this titan's insanity, "He has not seen it for himself but it is in a desert location the humans call…New Mexico."

"I want the gem in his possession before the swarm is upon Midgard."

"Of course."

Thanos smiled cruelly as he watched the dark elf walk away, murmuring to himself as he imagined himself finally with the power of a god, "Soon my Lady Death…soon I will have a fitting tribute for you…and finally have your favor."

* * *

**Warning: skip to the next section if subject matter offends**

ALFHEIM

There was but one image before him when he opened his eyes and Loki sighed to himself. It annoyed him when his mind and his magic teamed up against him, for he was firmly convinced at times his mind did things completely without his consent. There would be no choice in how he would be spending his sleeping hours tonight. He walked forward into the image of his dream, frowning to see he was surrounded by almost complete darkness.

There were vague shapes in the background, but it was like a distant tree or bush, inconsequential. He looked up to see the stars in an unfamiliar pattern. Whatever he was seeing, it was not a location he was familiar with even if it was his memory. The rock under his boots seemed vaguely familiar and as his eyes adjusted to the dimness around him he felt cold fear grip at his spine.

It was him. Himself.

_**Just a memory. **_

_**Just a distant…ugly memory**_.

He was tied down, his wrists and ankles restrained to give him just enough room to twist and scream but not enough give to break free. Not that he'd had any strength left after months of torture. They'd tried to get every scrap of useful information he had about Asgard, Odin, and Thor but he'd given them nothing. His anger at Odin's betrayal of his trust had turned on his capturers. Information that he would have given freely if they'd had the intelligence to woo him he now hoarded and guarded as his own secrets. He gave them nothing, locking anything they could use in the maze of his own mind and only providing outdated information or complete fictions when the pain became too much.

He'd barely survived his journey with the Tesseract from here to Midgard after they'd gotten through with him. To this day his time on Midgard was still hazy at best. Moments in time. He remembered emerging from the Tesseract and fighting for his life, but he couldn't remember the why. Instinct perhaps.

The Other had laid out a plan and he followed it, not really caring if it succeeded or not. Thor. Thor was his next vivid memory and for a moment he'd been happy to see him. But with the realization that they weren't really brothers and the thunderer probably didn't even know that the brother he claimed to love was really just a Jötunn runt his hazy state returned.

The Black Widow.

Iron Man.

The green menace had been a vivid memory, and the pain that followed had left him shocked to the core. At the time he'd wondered how a planet full of ants had managed what Thor alone had not. Now that he had a background of their science, he was starting to appreciate how grossly ignorant he had been. Not that Thor had been trying particularly hard to defeat him, his punches tempered by his love for him. There was no haziness from that point on, as if the beating had knocked the sense back into him. He'd put up no further resistance, thankful though his pride would never let him admit it, that he would finally be going home.

He took another look around. The Other was here, he remembered that, but he forced away his other memories to focus on this apparently important moment he'd forgotten. One of the Other's minions was poised with a blade over his abdomen, his armor cut away and he helpless to protect himself in his prone state.

Loki blinked slowly, brow furrowed and confused by what he was seeing. Something was out of place.

_Wrong_.

Not right, but it was so confusing he couldn't even give the wrongness a label. He was obviously in the clutches of the Chitauri, after his fall from the Bi-frost but before his attack on New York. He just didn't remember this. Why? Why would he forget this and not all the rest done to him? And why in the name of Hel would he choose now to remember?

The image became a moment in time. The figures assuming natural shapes. He could smell stale blood and ash. He could hear things slithering in the distance. He could feel the cold of this barren asteroid trying to leach the warmth out of him and he shivered. The Other walked into view, a staff used as a guide as well as a power source and cloth over his eyes. He nodded sightlessly to the minion, "It is time." The words were hissed, bloody teeth bared and the knife descended.

As the blade slowly slipped through flesh screams of pain from the bound figure chorused with the singing of the blade. Loki became detached from it, not hearing but unable to look away. Bright red blood beaded, dripped and finally poured along the alabaster flesh, coating the body before him. A moment later. An eternity later, the blade was removed. Fingers pried open flesh. Shivers of pain shook the form as shock took hold and Loki watched with detached interest as bloody flesh was removed from the swollen abdomen.

Loki felt like he was in shock. Had they dissected him, taken out all of his insides? Not even an AEsir could survive that. Had he died, is that what this was? Was he some perverse echo of the prince he had once been and he was just now remembering this. No, that couldn't be it. He dreamed. He lived. Indel, he loved Indel. These were not the emotions of a fiction.

But as he watched the bound figure's insides were sealed and sloppily healed, leaving behind a long scar and Loki frowned, reflexively pressing a hand to his own abdomen. He had this scar. How had he forgotten how he'd received it? Why?

A cry drew his attention, no longer focused on the bound form of himself who was slowly slipping into unconsciousness. A cry of a newborn being passed to the Other and he felt ice course through his veins like a lightning strike.

At the core of him he was magic, and magic was the foundation of life.

His honor had been taken from him, only once, but once had been enough.

"NO!"

The image swirled and started to fade, Loki reaching out a beseeching hand towards the tiny infant he'd forgotten as his mind fractured and broke, a whisper from trembling lips, "…no…"

* * *

_Changeling – a creature born of a singular species capable of imitating a completely different species on a biological level._

_Shape shifter – a magician that imitates the exterior structure of another species_

_Loki blinked slowly before looking up from the book with a small frown, "Then what is the difference, mother?"_

_Frigga smiled gently, reaching out to smooth his wild hair obscuring his green eyes, "It is a subtle difference my son, but important."_

_Shrugging, "But the tutor couldn't explain it."_

_Smile growing just a little as she imagined the blush on the tutor's face. Her little one had grown to the stage of asking sometimes embarrassingly awkward questions in the most inappropriate places. Odin had been adamant that he was not having this conversation at the feast and left their youngest in her hands. She picked him up and pulled him into her lap, content as he curled back against her, "Then I will give you an example. A little elf boy is born, but he is a changeling. A second little elf boy is born but he is a shapeshifter."_

"_Oka-ay."_

"_The two little elf boys decide they want to be Vanir today, so they change their shape…are they the same?"_

"_Yes!"_

"_No. The first little elf boy is different, on the inside."_

"_How is he different?"_

"_Because changelings can be a boy or a girl. So even though they both look like Vanir boys, on the inside the first boy is different. He's special."_

"_How is he special?"_

"_Because on the inside since he is pretending to be Vanir, he is both a girl and a boy. So, if he wanted he could have a baby."_

_Wrinkling his nose, "Why would he want a baby?"_

_Wrapping him in a cuddle, "Because if I could have a million more babies just like you I would."_

_Turning his face to press against her neck, little fingers grasping for the soft material of her dress, "Love you, mumma."_

_Kissing the top of his head, "And I love you, my little trickster."_

Loki wished he could just sleep and dream forever. Stay wrapped up in that dream that was a memory of a happier childhood and never remember anything else. But he couldn't. He couldn't remember why but he knew he had to wake up. He slowly opened his eyes, feeling eyes on him and blinking slowly. It was morning.

_He didn't care_.

He forced himself to care. He forced himself to keep breathing, in and out. He knew what this was. This curiously lost, detached state of being. He'd lost himself once completely, broken and pliant, it had been a slow process to remember who he was. Days. Weeks. Months.

_Tired. Need to sleep. Want to sleep_-

He didn't have that luxury now. Someone needed his care and protection. Someone important. He knew what he had to do. He had to remind himself of who he was and he recited the words that had become a mantra.

He was Loki, of Asgard. He had been a prince.

_Prince_?

Yes, he had been a prince.

He had-he **was **a son.

He **was** a brother.

He remembered what had been lost, but he couldn't dwell on it. He forced himself not to. He forced himself to evaluate his present.

He was on Alfheim's moon, in the cottage he had built with his magic.

He was no longer under their control, he was no longer under Asgard's control.

He was, in a fashion, free.

He fanned out his senses just to be sure, his coiled muscles relaxing to confirm what his mind believed.

His magic tentatively spread from his fingertips, from his mind, from his heart, and brushed against the fledgling magic of his son. Indel. The boy that needed him. The boy that loved him. He'd saved a child, not the child of his blood but the child of his heart, just as important and just as deeply loved. It soothed him. It reassured him. He was safe, now. He was home. It helped him to pull himself back together again.

His eyes moved to take in the figure next to him. Green eyes were peering back at him from his bedside, little fingers toying with the covers and innocent face grinning, "Dada?"

Loki took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He'd forgotten what he couldn't protect. No doubt the infant was long dead and no matter how the child had been conceived, it was HIS. His blood. His choice. And they'd stolen that choice from him, as they'd stolen everything else. There would be no forgiveness to be found. Thor had stopped him once from destroying Jötunheim, for the sins of his sire, but this the Chitauri would pay for in blood and no one would stop him. It was time they remembered what the nine realms had forgotten.

Loki, the conqueror of Helheim.

While a part of him mourned and howled, the rest began to plan. There were three that were responsible. The Chitauri he already had something special for them but three specific wastes of life that would fear his name. Three that would pay the price for taking from him.

They were wrong to underestimate him. Malekith had been wounded and defeated by Thor but not destroyed. Loki had felt him slip through the fabric of reality. He'd lost control of the Aether but not his life. The dark elf's death would be a very personal affair he would take great pleasure in. The Other, he knew where he was. His tentacles were already stretching out to spread discord…and quite frankly it was insulting. And Thanos. He was so certain of the trickster's limits and his weaknesses. So certain that he would be an easy kill. Fool.

He smiled softly, his face stretching to assume the emotion of happiness that was sluggish to respond and pulled Indel into his arms, the little boy letting out a happy exhale and resting the side of his face on his chest. Running his fingers through white hair, he allowed the plan to drift. Indel was too little, for now. But one day soon, he would set the heavens ablaze to avenge the child that he had lost…and hopefully his little elfling would be old enough to help.

* * *

_NOTES: Whew, I had been debating cutting this chapter up but I decided all the pieces worked well together._

_Hope this clears up any confusion about why Loki was upset to be labeled a changeling (I read up on changelings but you'll just have to forgive me for taking a side trip from the traditional definition)._

_NEXT:_

_Thor visits Hela and major Indel cuteness._


End file.
